


The Snowboarder

by charliewrites



Series: The Snowboarder and the Actor [1]
Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: AU, First Meetings, M/M, Snowboarding, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-03 14:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6614764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliewrites/pseuds/charliewrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter goes with his friends to Norway on a ski trip and meets a cute snowboard instructor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Meet-Cute

It was really fucking cold. That was the only thought Peter was able to think for at least an hour after they left the airport. That, and how tired he was. He’d expected it to be cold – they were in Norway in January, after all – and he’d expected to be tired after what felt like an eternity of travelling, but he hadn’t been prepared enough, apparently. 

Peter Adrian Donaldson was good at a fair few things. He’d been captain of the football team in high school, radiated authority when he wanted to, and he got along with pretty much anyone he met. If he wasn’t good at something, he’d play it off as not making any sort of effort at all and just goofing off. 

So why exactly had he agreed to going on this ski trip to Norway? He’d never even looked at a pair of skis or a snowboard; it wasn’t exactly a pastime that the weather allowed easy practice for in Auckland and Wellington. At least, not as far as he knew. But when Meg had suggested it, it had sounded like such a good idea. Granted, the idea of After Ski was what had convinced him in the end. 

So that’s how he found himself filing into a hotel lobby somewhere in the mountains of Norway with Meg, Beatrice, and Ben. It had taken a lot of working overtime at the bar and a generous donation from his grandmother, but here he was. And he really was regretting having packed his new outerwear into his suitcase.

Beatrice was the one who had booked the trip so as she and Ben went to the desk to check in, Meg and Peter stood back and waited, Peter shivering, even in the heated lobby. 

‘Oh my god, put on your jacket if you’re that cold!’ Meg complained, her own jacket hanging open casually. She looked like she fit right in with the other guests coming through around them. 

‘I’m not going to open my suitcase in the middle of the lobby’ Peter said stubbornly. ‘Besides, the cabin can’t…be…’

He trailed off when his eye caught on the guy in white ski pants with a black stripe down the side of the leg, a black jacket, and a black knitted hat, walking down the stairs to the lobby, holding a snowboard and a pair of black gloves. He was laughing at something his friend was telling him, almost doubling over. The sight was enough for Peter to forget the cold for a second. 

‘Earth to Peter!’ Meg said, snapping her fingers in front of his face, effectively making him snap out of it. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve already found someone to crush on; we’ve literally been here for five minutes’

‘Shut up!’ Peter said, rolling his eyes at her. So he had a habit of falling hard and fast for people he’d just met. It wasn’t as if he was actively trying. In fact, he’d tried doing the exact opposite the past year; not getting attached to potential romantic prospects. He’d gone into a streak of casual relationships, and it had been great. Until he fell for a girl back in October who absolutely broke his heart; he still wasn’t completely over that. 

‘Jones! Røgler! Come here for a moment!’ the receptionist tending to Bea and Ben called, and the cute snowboarder and his friend went to the reception. It looked like they were being introduced to Bea and Ben, before the cute one smiled apologetically and ducked out, leaving the lobby. Then Bea and Ben came over to Meg and Peter with the other guy on tow. 

‘Hi, I’m Dag’ the guy said. He had bleached hair and tan lines from snow goggles on his face. 

‘Dog?’ Meg asked, suppressing a smile. Granted, they did know people with stranger names – hell, one of Ursula’s Year 10s called himself Dogberry – but Peter still shared a look with Meg. 

The guy chuckled. ‘No, DAg, with an A. It’s okay, it’s a hard name for foreigners to grasp’ he said with a pleasant smile on his face. ‘Anyway, your cabin is this way’

They exited the lobby and started walking down a path that had been cleared, towards the cabins. The snow on each side of the path – that was also made of snow – reached Peter’s waist, and the cold bit through his sweater. 

Peter couldn’t deny to himself that he was a bit disappointed that the cute guy was not the one walking them to their cabin, since it was clear that that had been the purpose for the receptionist calling them over. 

‘So who was that other guy?’ Peter asked, completely unaware that he was cutting into a conversation between Meg and Dag. 

‘Who, Balth? He’s a children’s snowboard instructor – that’s why he couldn’t join us; he had to get to a class. It’s a shame, really. He’s from New Zealand so his English is a lot better than mine’ Dag said, making all four of them suddenly stop and look at him.

‘He’s from New Zealand?’ Meg asked, glancing at Peter. ‘What are the odds?’

‘Don’t tell me you’re from New Zealand, too?’ Dag asked. 

‘Well, yeah. Can’t you tell from out accents?’ Bea asked. 

‘No, I thought you were from Australia’ Dag replied sheepishly. Bea, Meg and Peter rolled their eyes. ‘Sorry! The accents are so similar, it kind of muddles together. Believe me, you could probably not tell the difference between my Norwegian and Swedish’

‘No, you’re probably right’ Meg said, shrugging, and they started walking again. 

The cabin wasn’t too far from the hotel, and Dag left them after making sure that their keys worked, and that they didn’t have any questions – and turning on the heat, because Peter was not the only one shivering after that walk. 

There were two bedrooms; one master bedroom which Bea and Ben commandeered, and a room with two single beds which Meg and Peter were left with. Other than that there was a bathroom and a common room, which included both a living room area and a kitchen area, divided by a dining table. There was a fireplace in the living room area, which they were all pretty excited about. 

Peter collapsed on his bed, face first. ‘I am so ready for sleep!’

‘Oh, no you don’t! It’s not even noon yet!’ Bea said from the doorway. Peter grumbled and tried to ignore her, wrapping his arms around his pillow. 

‘I’m with Pete on this one, Bea’ Meg said, lying back on her own bed. ‘Just, like, an hour’

‘No!’ Bea said, pulling at Peter’s arm. ‘We’re all going to power through this jet lag and go rent some skis!’

-

Bea won the battle, and six hours later, Meg and Peter were sat in the bar after having spent hours in the snow. Peter had been mainly falling over and goofing off, as was his usual strategy when he wasn’t good at or confident in something. Meg, of course, had been a natural.

Bea and Ben had gone to eat dinner together, something Meg and Peter were not interested in joining, as Bea and Ben had been mushy and coupley all day, so they decided to just get a quick bite to eat before settling in the bar.

They were both absolutely shattered, and Peter hurt all over, but they were in a good mood and despite the high prices, they had both worked enough overtime at home to be able to afford it.

‘So how’s the magazine treating you? Is it still the best job ever?’ Peter asked, sipping his beer. He and Meg hadn’t become close until she moved to Wellington with him, Ben and Bea when they’d started university a year earlier. Somehow, living with Bea and Ben had made the two of them a united force; and Meg had been the least judgemental of his lifestyle last year, which had warmed him up to her a lot. 

‘Yeah, it’s great. I’m actually thinking about writing about something regarding being a tourist in Norway – you know, so I can call this a research trip’ she said with a wink, and Peter laughed. 

‘Yeah, you can write about how it’s apparently next to impossible to get alcohol here’ Peter said. Meg snorted and nodded. 

Peter felt a hand patting his shoulder and caught Meg sending him a subtle thumbs up before turning to see who wanted to get his attention. 

It was the guy from the lobby. Only, up close, he looked so much better. He was wearing a patterned oversized sweater that seemed to swallow him. His hair was spiky and light brown, his eyes big and blue, and he had a playful smile on his face. He was absolutely beautiful, and Peter instantly wanted to get to know him. He seemed a bit out of breath as well, as if he’d _run_ up to Peter. 

‘Can I get your number?’ the guy asked as soon as Peter had turned his attention to him. He seemed like he was in a hurry. 

‘I don’t know. How about you buy me a drink first?’ Peter asked, putting on his signature smile. 

‘What?’ the guy asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. ‘Oh, sorry, no! I’m not- I was just- It’s for the scavenger hunt’

‘Scavenger hunt?’ Peter asked, not sure how to feel or react. So he didn’t actually want Peter’s number? That was a bit disappointing.

‘Yeah, the hotel’s having this scavenger hunt – they do it a couple of times a month – and one of the things we need to collect is a stranger’s phone number, so…’ the guy explained and, if Peter wasn’t mistaken, blushed. ‘It’s not going to be used for anything; you could just write down a random sequence of numbers, I guess, but yeah’

‘Right’ Peter said, sizing the guy up. He was _really_ cute. Peter bit his lower lip before holding out his hand for the pen in the guy’s hand. He handed it over, and Peter wrote down his phone number on a napkin before handing it over to the guy. Their fingers brushed lightly against each other; something in Peter’s stomach stirred. ‘I wouldn’t mind if you used it’

‘Thanks’ the guy said, suddenly seeming shy, and looked down. ‘Um, I’m just…’

He pointed to where people where huddled together in groups in the sofa area, giving Peter a shy smile before he started to walk away. For some reason, Peter’s pulse was racing. 

‘Wait, what’s your name?’ Peter called before he could stop himself from doing so, eagerness evident in his voice. 

The guy turned around and smiled at him. ‘Balthazar’

‘I’m Peter’ Peter said, smiling back at him. 

The guy nodded and looked down with a shy smile before turning around and walking back to his friends. Peter followed him with his eyes as he sat down, blushing at something the others – Dag, the guy who’d shown them to their cabin earlier, was among them – were saying before looking up and catching Peter’s eyes. Embarrassed, Peter looked away, turning back to Meg. 

‘Aw, what a lovely meet-cute that was’ Meg said, nudging Peter. 

‘A what?’ Peter asked, frowning in confusion.

‘Have you never watched The Holiday? Or listened when Ben’s been talking about his film classes?’ Meg asked. ‘It’s when the protagonist meets their romantic interest in a cute way – like bumping into each other in the hallway and picking up each other’s books and having a moment. You’re obviously the protagonist here, and he’s your romantic interest’

‘And this was a… whatever you call it?’

‘A meet-cute’

‘I think you’ve watched too many rom-coms’ Peter laughed, sipping his beer. He couldn’t help but glance at where Balthazar was sitting, though, now with a few of his friends missing. A part of him hoped Meg was right. Then again, he was only in Norway for a week; not the best premises for meeting a potential romantic interest.


	2. The Guitarist

Peter woke up to the smell of bacon and the sound of Bea and Ben’s muffled debate. He couldn’t hear what they were actually saying, though. Yawning, he stretched his arms over his head and tried to wake his body up a little more. He and Meg had gone back to the cabin not long after his encounter with Balthazar, keen to get some sleep. He looked over to see that Meg’s bed was empty. He was tempted to just close his eyes and go back to sleep, but his stomach was growling, and that bacon smelled really good. 

He picked up his phone and checked it; the cabin didn’t have wifi, so he’d have to wait until they got to the hotel lobby to check his social media, but a small part of him was keen to see if Balthazar had actually used his number. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that small. Maybe it was a huge part of him. Either way, he was disappointed to see that he didn’t have any messages, except one from Freddie who wanted to know if they’d crashed on their way to Norway. 

Freddie was a year ahead of him at university, and had tutored him in one of the politics courses he’d taken in his second semester, when he’d realised that university actually took work in order to get good grades. They’d had a bit of a rocky start, but somehow they’d become pretty good friends. 

He wrote her a quick message to let her know that they’d arrived safe and sound, and thanked her for making a list for him with all the things he’d need to go skiing. Without that, he’d probably not have thought of getting ski goggles and proper boots. Then he got out of bed and made a move to have a shower. 

In the living room, Meg was seated in one of the couches, reading a magazine – her hair was damp so he assumed she’d already showered – and Ben was in the kitchen by the stove, working on making breakfast. Bea was by the sink, cleaning the things they wouldn’t need anymore. 

‘Morning’ Peter said as he made his way through the room toward the bathroom. 

‘Good morning! Breakfast will be done in about ten minutes’ Ben said. The girls mumbled their good mornings absentmindedly. 

‘Great, I’ll be quick’ Peter said and locked himself in the bathroom before Ben could protest. 

-

After they’d finished breakfast, Peter sat back in his chair, content with his meal. 

‘So what’s the plan for today?’ he asked and sipped his coffee. 

‘I don’t know’ Bea said. ‘We talked to Dag last night, and he suggested we go with him and his friends on a ski trip. I guess we’ve been considering that, right, Ben?’

‘Yeah, it’s a great opportunity to get a look at the wildlife here. And it would be better to have some guides on a trip away from the resort’ Ben said, perking up in his chair with excitement. 

‘You just want to look at birds’ Meg teased. 

‘Yeah, so?’ Ben asked defensively. 

Meg rolled her eyes, but winked at Ben in good nature. ‘I think I’ll go as well. I’m thinking of making Dag my informant for my article’ 

‘Right’ Peter said with a knowing grin on his face. He’d noticed Meg flirting with Dag the day before. Meg kicked him under the table. ‘No offence, but I think I’d rather not risk my life by putting on those death traps again; I’m still hurting from yesterday’

‘Maybe you should try snowboarding’ Meg teased. ‘I heard the instructor is cute’

Peter shoved her, feeling his face heat up. 

‘What’s this? Has little Peteley got a crush?’ Ben asked teasingly, exchanging a look with Bea and Meg.

Peter threw his head back and groaned in exasperation. ‘Shut up’

‘Yeah, remember the guy Dag was with yesterday? The one who had to leave to teach a class? He asked Pete for his number last night’ Meg said, ignoring Peter’s kicks under the table. 

‘It was for a scavenger hunt’ Peter tried to reason, more to himself than his friends. He didn’t want to get his hopes up about Balthazar actually being interested. 

‘Oh, please! That was totally just an excuse! He was _so_ into you!’ Meg said, nudging Peter. He tried swatting her hand away.

‘Just please promise me you won’t be heartbroken when we go home on Sunday evening’ Bea said, concern evident in her voice. She’d been present for many of Peter’s heartbreaks – she’d even been the reason for one of them. 

‘I promise I won’t to be heartbroken when we leave, because I don’t have a crush. Sure, he’s cute but I’m not going to do anything about it. It would just complicate things’ Peter said, finishing off his coffee. ‘And now I’m going to go for a walk’

‘Right, we need to get ready if we want to go with Dag and his friends’ Bea said, her eyes still on Peter for a moment, before they started clearing away the table. 

Peter did the cleaning up since he the only one who wasn’t in a hurry. He found the solitude nice and put some music on, dancing around the cabin as he cleaned. He couldn’t help but think about Balthazar, though. Yes, he’d said that he didn’t have a crush on him, but who was he kidding, really? He knew what a crush felt like, and he was definitely already crushing on Balthazar. 

But he had meant it when he’d said that he didn’t plan on doing anything. He wasn’t opposed to getting into a relationship, and he wasn’t opposed to doing long distance, either. But Norway was too far away. And he wasn’t sure he’d be able to have a short-lived fling with Balthazar. Knowing himself, Bea was right in worrying that he’d be heartbroken when they left if he did pursue it and had to end it in less than a week. 

When he was done cleaning, he got into his outerwear, grabbed a book and his headphones and headed for the hotel lounge, which provided free wifi. 

The lounge was pretty much empty when he got there so he collapsed into a big armchair and started checking his social media. He became so engrossed in his phone that the soft sound of a guitar and humming actually startled him. Looking up to see where it was coming from, he found… him. Balthazar. The butterflies in his stomach stirred.

He was sitting at the other side of the lounge, guitar in his lap and a notebook in front of him. So he was a musician as well as a snowboarder? Damn. 

It wasn’t until Balthazar looked up and caught him looking, that Peter realised he’d been staring. Balthazar smiled shyly at him and waved. 

‘Sounds good’ Peter said, not knowing what else to say, but wanting to say something. 

‘Thanks’ Balthazar said, ducking his head, but Peter didn’t miss his smile. If he’d had any doubt about whether he actually had a crush on him or not, those doubts were officially gone. 

Deciding that it couldn’t hurt to get to know him, Peter got up and approached the musician. After all, it would be pretty rude to just sit there, ignoring him, now that they’d acknowledged each other. 

‘So do you play a lot?’ Peter asked, sitting down on the other end of the sofa that Balthazar was sitting on. 

Balthazar reached up and fixed his hair, biting his lower lip as he did so. ‘Yeah, it’s pretty much my whole life’ His eyes were sparkling as he said it. It was absolutely endearing. 

‘That’s really cool’ Peter said, smiling at him. For a moment, they just sat there, smiling at each other. Peter wanted to kiss him. Or ask him out. The latter was probably more appropriate and less likely to make Balthazar uncomfortable. Nevertheless, Peter’s heart was beating fast and hard. 

The moment was ruined when three boys, who must have been around ten years old, came running into the lounge to Balthazar, almost tackling him. 

‘Be careful, guys! The guitar!’ Balthazar laughed, although it was evident that he was genuinely concerned about the instrument. 

The boys all drew back a little, apologising to Balthazar. They started talking to Balthazar in what Peter assumed was Norwegian, and judging from their body language, they were bragging about something, trying to upstage one another. Balthazar was good with them, replying and asking them something, to which they all nodded. A lady called from the doorway to the lobby, and the boys ran to her, waving goodbye to Balthazar. 

‘Sorry about that’ Balthazar said when they were alone again. 

‘No, that was cute. Do you know them?’ Peter asked, kicking himself a little. _Of course he knows them, dumbass. That was not an interaction between strangers._

Balthazar laughed softly. ‘Yeah, I’m their snowboarding instructor’

‘Right, you’re not only musically but also athletically talented’ Peter said and smiled as charmingly as he could, leaning closer just a little. He couldn’t help himself. Besides, what harm was there in a little innocent flirting?

‘I wouldn’t say that I’m athletically talented. I’m only really good at snowboarding in that department. And that’s only because my family’s been coming here every year for as long as I can remember’ Balthazar said, his cheeks turning pink at Peter’s compliment. Peter counted that as a victory. ‘I’m sure you’re more athletic than me’

‘Oh’ Peter said, not having expected the compliment to be returned. ‘Well, I played football in high school, but that’s it, really’ He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks.

‘Don’t tell me, you were captain, weren’t you?’ Balthazar asked with a laugh. 

‘Yeah, I was, actually’ Peter mumbled, embarrassed. Somehow it felt like bragging, and he didn’t want to brag about anything he’d done in high school. 

‘Of course you were’ Balthazar smiled and shook his head. 

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Peter asked, making a face. 

‘You’re just one of those guys, you know. Popular high school guy full of charisma and charm, liked by everyone. Flawless’ Balthazar said. It stung, but Peter tried not to make it show. Balthazar didn’t know, and he didn’t have to. 

‘I’m definitely not flawless’ Peter said, despite himself, not able to hide the bitterness in his voice. 

‘Sorry’ Balthazar said, his smile gone. ‘I didn’t mean to offend you’

‘No, it’s fine’ Peter said, taking a deep breath and pushing the bad feelings down. ‘So what are you working on?’

‘Um, it’s just a song that I’ve been working on for a while; I can’t seem to get it right, though’ Balthazar said, frowning down at his notebook. ‘It was a lot easier to write when I was still getting over my ex’

‘Ah yes, the suffering artist thing’ Peter said, nodding solemnly. 

‘It’s not that; it’s just easier to write when I’m feeling something intense, you know? Makes it feel more genuine’ Balthazar said, sighing and closing his notebook, turning to Peter. ‘Like, if I’m really happy or really sad, or like, in love or heartbroken. The words just come to me with more ease’

‘Better fall in love, then’ Peter said, winking at him. It was a little risky, but he couldn’t help himself. Balthazar had basically been baiting him. 

Balthazar’s cheeks grew pink, and he looked down. ‘Yeah, I guess so’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to post today but the writing was going so well that I decided to just say "fuck it" :)


	3. The Flirt

‘It’s nice to speak to a fellow kiwi. I never realise how much I miss that until it happens’ Balthazar said. He’d set his guitar down so that it was leaning against the sofa, and had pulled his knees up to his chin, making him look way smaller than he was. They’d been talking for a few hours already, and Peter could feel himself liking Balthazar more and more by the second. His enthusiasm for music was endearing, and his anecdotes from his many family holidays at that very resort were amazing, if a bit rambley. If Peter was honest with himself, the rambling was kinda charming. 

‘Yeah, I don’t suppose you get a lot of us around here’ Peter said, looking around the lounge. They weren’t alone anymore; people were starting to get back from their snow-based activities. The room was now full of a low buzzing from conversations happening around them, many people with hot drinks in their hands or on the tables in front of them. 

‘Nah, besides my own family, you’re pretty much the first one’ Balthazar laughed, and the butterflies in Peter’s stomach stirred. He didn’t know why, exactly; Balthazar had only said that he was the first person from New Zealand he’d spoken to here. That shouldn’t elicit such a reaction. Even so, it did – it may have been Balthazar’s laughter, to be fair, because that was the most beautiful sound Peter had ever heard. 

‘Do you miss them? Your family, I mean’ Peter said, sitting with his body turned to face Balthazar. His book and phone were lying on the table in front of them, carelessly forgotten.

‘A bit, yeah. Rosa – my sister – was here last week, but I haven’t seen Mum, Dad, and the twins since Christmas. And Jojo didn’t make it home for Christmas this year so I haven’t seen her in ages’ Balthazar said, spacing out for a minute, no doubt thinking about his family. 

‘Wow, that’s a big family’ Peter said, comparing it to his own. ‘I have a brother and that’s it’

‘Yeah, I guess’ Balthazar said, shrugging. ‘Are you close with your brother, though?’

‘Yeah, we’re pretty close’ Peter said, not able to hide the pride in his voice. Since he’d left high school, he and John had been able to mend their relationship and rebuild it. By now, you wouldn’t know that they hadn’t spent most of their lives living together. ‘We weren’t always, though’

‘How so?’ Balthazar asked, then quickly added. ‘Sorry, I don’t mean to pry’

‘No, it’s okay. Something happened that made us snap out of it, I guess’ Peter said, shrugging. He wasn’t keen on talking about exactly _what_ had happened. Balthazar seemed to pick up on that. 

‘I’ve always been closest with Rosa, but that’s probably because we’re closest in age’ Balthazar shrugged. 

They lapsed into silence. It wasn’t awkward, and Peter wasn’t in a hurry to break it, but he was a little worried that Balthazar didn’t want to talk to him anymore. He’d hate to think that Balthazar was just being polite and talking to him because he was there. 

Panic surged through him when Balthazar moved to get up, and he was about to say something, desperate to spend more time with this new and very interesting guy, but then Balthazar said: ‘Do you want some hot chocolate?’

Peter smiled and nodded, the panic being washed away by the butterflies that fluttered in his gut. While he was waiting, he checked his phone. Someone had commented on the picture he and Meg had put up on Instagram the night before. 

Balthazar returned with two mugs of steaming hot chocolate, and if Peter wasn’t mistaken, he sat down just a little bit closer to Peter than he had before. 

‘So why aren’t you out with your friends?’ he asked as he handed Peter his mug. 

‘Why, are you keen to get rid of me?’ Peter asked, trying to keep his tone of voice light, but bracing himself for rejection. 

Balthazar laughed. ‘Not at all, it’s just that you’re here with them but you’re spending your day in the hotel lounge, alone’

‘I’m not alone’ Peter pointed out, making Balthazar laugh. ‘And they’re my flat mates back home as well, so it’s not like this is a golden opportunity to hang out or anything. Besides, they’re out on some ski trip with that guy, Dag, and seeing as I almost broke my neck several times yesterday, I wasn’t really keen on going skiing again’

‘Yeah, skiing isn’t exactly my forte either, hence the snowboarding’ Balthazar said, sipping his hot chocolate. 

‘Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d fall on my face if I tried snowboarding as well’ Peter laughed self-deprecatingly, basking in Balthazar’s laughter. 

‘If you suck so much at skiing and snowboarding, why did you go on this trip in the first place?’ Balthazar asked, still laughing. 

‘I guess I was hoping to meet a handsome stranger’ Peter said, winking at Balthazar, who blushed, ducking his head. ‘To be honest, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I just thought, “How hard can it be?” Turns out the answer is, Very Hard’

Balthazar laughed and shook his head at him. God, his smile was gorgeous. If Peter could look at that forever, he’d be more than content.

‘I finish my classes at noon tomorrow; if you want, I can teach you some tricks’ Balthazar offered when he’d calmed down a little. ‘It would have to be on a snowboard, though’

Peter’s stomach fluttered. ‘Yeah, that’d actually be great’ he said, not able to hide his smile. 

‘Cool’ Balthazar said, smiling down at his mug. ‘I’m sorry about last night, by the way. We really did need a phone number, but my friends were kinda… insistent about me asking you. I think maybe they had an agenda’

‘Oh’ Peter said, disappointed to hear that Balthazar hadn’t approached him willingly. 

‘Yeah, they usually do it to, like, Dag or something, because he’s _always_ single, but for some reason they just… I don’t know’ Balthazar finished lamely. 

Peter looked down into his half-drunk hot chocolate and swished it around the mug a little. He didn’t know how to react to that. Was Balthazar trying to subtly tell him that he wasn’t interested? Had the night before just been a joke to Balthazar? Because to Peter, it had been very real, even if they had only had a brief conversation; it had been filled with flirting, though, and Peter could clearly recall the shy smile on Balthazar’s face after he’d said that he wouldn’t mind if Balthazar actually used his number. Which he hadn’t done. 

‘But I’m kinda glad they did’ Balthazar said after a deep breath, and Peter looked up at him. ‘I definitely wouldn’t have had the courage to go up to you if they hadn’t’

This made Peter’s stomach flutter again. So Balthazar _was_ interested. ‘I’m glad they did, too, then’

They smiled at each other, and for a moment, that was all they did. Peter couldn’t find it in himself to look away; Balthazar’s eyes and smile were captivating. The tiny dimples in his cheeks just added to the overall appeal of this beautiful boy.

Balthazar’s phone was what interrupted them, ringing out with a Mumford & Sons song that Peter couldn’t remember the name of. 

‘Sorry’ Balthazar mumbled as he scrambled for his phone in his pocket and answered it. ‘Yep?’

As he spoke on the phone in Norwegian, Peter took the chance to take him in. He was definitely not like any other guy, Peter had been interested in, in the past. Granted, the boy-liking side of his sexuality was less explored than the girl-liking side, since he’d tried repressing the former up until the end of Year 13. But still, the shy musician type had definitely not made him feel like he did right now, before. 

Balthazar seemed to recognise someone in the doorway to the lobby – which Peter had his back turned to – and waved. When Peter turned around and looked, Dag, a few people he didn’t know, and his friends were walking toward them. Well, that was inconvenient.

Meg shooed Peter toward the middle of the sofa so she could sit beside him, resulting in him being pressed against Balthazar, who had had Dag do the same thing. Meg winked at him, and Peter rolled his eyes. 

‘How was the trip?’ Peter asked, trying not to think about the points of contact between himself and Balthazar. Their legs and shoulders were pressed together, and he had a hard time figuring out what to do with his hand, the back of which was currently resting against Balthazar’s thigh. 

‘It was long’ Meg said, leaning her head back and rested it on the backrest. 

‘Come on! That was not long! We didn’t even get half as far as we wanted’ Dag laughed.

They entered into a debate that Peter hardly heard and definitely made no effort to join, because he was more focused on slowing down his heart rate. Balthazar had chosen to rest his hand on his own thigh, his pinkie dangerously close to the back of Peter’s hand. The space between their fingers seemed charged with some kind of electricity, making it hard for Peter to think coherent thoughts. 

‘That reminds me, Balth’ Dag said, resulting in Balthazar removing his hand. ‘We should get to the staff meeting’

‘Is it that late already?’ Balthazar asked, checking the time on his phone. ‘Huh, I guess it is’

The two of them got up, followed by the people that Peter didn’t know. Balthazar picked up his guitar and notebook, and turned to Peter. 

‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Pete?’ he asked, and Peter hoped he wasn’t imagining the hope in his voice. The softness with which he spoke Peter’s name made Peter’s pulse speed up.

‘Yeah, definitely’ Peter said, smiling at him. 

‘Cool. We can just meet up out front, and I’ll sort out the things we’ll need, don’t worry’ Balthazar said, gesturing toward the lobby, and Peter nodded, his stomach fluttering. Balthazar nodded, probably more to himself, with a shy smile before following Dag and the others out. Peter followed him with his eyes until he was out of sight. Just before he turned a corner, Balthazar looked back, and Peter could have sworn his face turned red when their eyes met.

When Peter turned his attention back to his friends, they all had the same, knowing smiles on their faces. He sighed, rolling his eyes, and moved away from Meg now that they didn’t have to sit four people in the sofa. 

‘So what’s that about tomorrow?’ Bea asked casually, but was trying to hold back a smile. 

‘None of your business, that’s what it’s about’ Peter said, finishing his hot chocolate that had now gone cold. He wasn’t keen on telling his friends that he was going to get snowboarding lessons, especially since he wasn’t particularly interested in the snowboarding part of it. What he did look forward to, though, was getting to spend some more one-on-one time with Balthazar. And the old teach-me-how-to-do-this trick was always a good one to use. Sometime during his conversation with Balthazar he’d decided to not care if he was going to end up heartbroken; he liked this guy so he wasn’t going to deny himself the chance to get close to him.

‘Are you going on a romantic getaway?’ Meg teased, poking him in the side. ‘Maybe resolve some of all that sexual tension that was going on just now?’

‘Shut up’ Peter said, hiding his face in his hands. ‘So Ben, did you see some cool birds?’

‘I did, actually!’ Ben said, launching into a long story about the birds they’d seen and what was special about each one. 

Glad to have the attention off him, Peter put on his best listening face and started going over his conversation with Balthazar in his head. They’d talked all day, it seemed; the sun was setting outside, so it was late afternoon, which meant that time had simply flown by. There was something easy about being around Balthazar that Peter had never experienced before. For some reason, he felt completely at ease around him, despite having only known him for a few hours. He could still feel the ghost of Balthazar’s leg pressed against his. 

‘I’m starved. Who’s up for some dinner?’ Bea asked, interrupting her boyfriend and getting up. 

‘Yeah, I could go for some food’ Peter said, realising he hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Granted, it had been a late breakfast, but still. Besides that, he’d had a cup of hot chocolate, which may have filled him up a little, but wasn’t entirely enough to keep his stomach from growling a little. 

They made their way back to the cabin which they’d stocked with groceries that they’d bought on their way from the airport, and Meg and Peter started making dinner. 

‘I thought you said you didn’t have a crush on him’ Meg said quietly enough for Bea and Ben not to hear them from where they were sat on one of the couches. 

‘Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter if I do. After we leave I’ll probably never see him again, so…’ Peter said, his eyes on the red peppers that he was cutting. 

‘Maybe. Or maybe he’ll fall head over heels for you and drop everything here to go back to New Zealand to be with you’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you like it!


	4. The Lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know just as much about snowboarding as Peter does, so this is all guesswork on how it works.

The next day, Peter was outside the hotel lobby, waiting, at noon on the dot. He was well aware that Balthazar would need to finish up after his class and would probably not be there for at least ten minutes, but Peter liked to be early. Besides, Meg, Bea, and Ben had been roasting him over breakfast, trying to pump him for information about his… whatever this was, with Balthazar, so he’d left as soon as he could. 

Every time he so much as thought about Balthazar, the butterflies in his stomach stirred, and he had a very hard time not smiling. He’d spent a fair amount of time the night before, trying to figure out what he was going to do about this crush of his. 

On one hand, Balthazar – as far as Peter knew – lived in Norway with his entire family living in New Zealand. Norway was a long way away from New Zealand, and there was a 10 hour time difference; having a relationship would be super hard. Besides, he wasn’t even sure if Balthazar would be interested in a relationship. Maybe Balthazar just enjoyed the flirting but wasn’t interested in taking it further for that exact reason. Peter wasn’t sure how he felt about that last option. 

On the other hand, Balthazar was – so far at least – the most amazing, beautiful person, Peter had ever met – both appearance and personality wise. Nothing about him was unattractive. Peter couldn’t help but flirt with him when they were in a room together, the day before had proved as much. And who knew? Maybe Peter _could_ actually survive it only being a fling. He hadn’t fully convinced himself of that last point yet, though.

Five minutes past noon, Balthazar pulled up on a snowmobile, stopping right in front of Peter. For a moment, Peter didn’t realise that it was him, because he was wearing a helmet, and because Peter hadn’t expected to add ‘snowmobile’ to the list of things, Balthazar could operate. He pulled off his helmet, and fuck, if it wasn’t one of the sexiest things, Peter had ever seen. He suddenly understood why there were so many rom-coms that introduced the romantic interest by having them ride in on a motorcycle. Granted, this wasn’t the same, but that didn’t matter; it was appropriate to the climate.

‘You ready?’ Balthazar asked. Peter could do nothing but nod. He hadn’t regained the power of speech yet, after that reveal. ‘Cool, hop on. Here, put this on first’

He handed Peter a helmet and a balaclava to put on. After a few seconds of fumbling with the balaclava – in which Balthazar moved in to help him, creating a small, very intimate moment since he was so close, their eyes meeting for a moment – Peter put on his helmet and got onto the snowmobile behind Balthazar. 

‘Hold on tight’ Balthazar said, gassing it up. Peter put his arms around Balthazar’s waist, his arms tingling a little as he did so, and Balthazar sped up, taking them away from the hotel. 

The ride was longer than Peter had expected, trees and snow rushing past them like some kind of winter wonderland. But he didn’t particularly care, either. Sure, Balthazar could theoretically be taking him somewhere to kill him in a place without witnesses, but that didn’t actually matter to Peter; he was too far gone for this boy already. 

After about twenty minutes, Balthazar steered them off the trail they’d been following, into a forest, and they ended up stopping in a clearing of the woods. Balthazar turned off the engine and got off the snowmobile, taking off his helmet, and unstrapping the snowboards he’d had tied to the back. Peter took off his helmet as well and took in the scenery. They were surrounded by pine trees and bushes, the clearing rising to a hill. The sun was glinting in the snow, making it look almost magical, the way it looked in films. 

‘This is one of my favourite places because no one ever comes here’ Balthazar said, handing Peter one of the boards.

‘It’s beautiful’ Peter said, awestruck at how pretty it all was. Most of the snow was untouched, apart from a few foot prints from various animals, some small like birds, and some a bit bigger, like foxes and moose. 

‘Hmm’ Balthazar hummed in agreement, standing beside Peter for a moment. Peter could feel Balthazar’s eyes on him, so he met them and smiled at him. Balthazar returned the smile, making Peter’s stomach flutter, before he cleared his throat, holding up his own snowboard. ‘Okay, let’s get started. How much do you actually know about snowboarding?’

‘I’ve watched movies where they snowboard’ Peter offered, making Balthazar laugh. 

‘Oh, god, we’re going to be here all day, aren’t we?’

-

An hour and a half later, Peter had accomplished very little but standing and falling with the board strapped to his feet. He could tell that Balthazar was trying not to laugh, but that was apparently a very difficult task. Despite sucking completely, though, Peter was having the time of his life. Balthazar was a very patient teacher and played into all of Peter’s flirtatious comments and jokes, which – frankly – only encouraged Peter. He was sure the amount of touching that was going on was not at all necessary, but he was not one to complain. If Balthazar wanted to touch him, he was more than welcome.

‘Let’s try that again, shall we?’ Balthazar laughed, pulling Peter up from where he’d fallen on his ass because he’d lost his balance, trying to get the board moving. ‘It’s all about where you put your weight’

‘This is bringing memories back from trying to skateboard when I was ten’ Peter mumbled, happy to hear Balthazar laugh. ‘At least this time there’s snow to cushion the fall. Asphalt is not pleasant to fall on, believe me. Plus, I didn’t have a cute teacher back then, either’

Balthazar blushed and shook his head at Peter, looking determined not to laugh, but not able to hide his smile. ‘Yeah, well, your cute teacher will leave you here if you don’t at least try’

Peter gasped dramatically, putting a hand on his chest for effect. ‘You wouldn’t’

‘Oh, I definitely would’ Balthazar said, raising his eyebrows to underline his point. They both cracked and started laughing. When they’d calmed down, Balthazar nodded down the hill. ‘Try and aim for somewhere next to the snowmobile, and then just lean forward a bit. _Please_ try not to hit the snowmobile, though’

‘See, it sounds so simple when you say it like that’ Peter said, shaking his head, trying to find a spot to aim for. 

‘That’s because it actually _is_ pretty simple’ Balthazar laughed, and Peter playfully shoved him. ‘Here, let me show you’

He slid gracefully down the hill, skidding to a halt by the snowmobile. There was something really attractive about the ease with which he’d done that. 

‘Now you try’ he called to Peter, waving him down. 

Peter took a deep breath and put his weight on the foot that was up front. The board started sliding down the hill, and by some kind of miracle, Peter kept his weight in the right place as opposed to falling backwards as he had for the past hour. 

‘You’re doing great!’ Balthazar called, and Peter looked up from the board where his focus had been. The shift in focus caused him to lean a little too much to the right, steering him head-first into a large, low-hanging branch. He fell on his back, a sharp pain just above his right eyebrow. 

He lay there for a moment, disoriented, and heard someone shuffling through the snow toward him. 

‘Oh my god, are you okay?’ Balthazar asked and sat down beside him, frowning in concern and mumbling something about how he knew they should have been wearing helmets. 

‘Yeah, I think so’ Peter said and tried sitting up, but Balthazar pushed him down. 

‘No, don’t get up just yet’ he said, removing his gloves, holding up his hand. ‘How many fingers am I holding up?’

‘Three. I’m fine, really’ Peter said, once again trying to sit up. This time, Balthazar let him, but was still frowning. He could feel the warm sensation of blood slowly trickling down his forehead.

‘I have a first aid kit with me. Are you okay to walk to the snowmobile?’ he asked, removing the snowboard from Peter’s feet and helping Peter to his feet, lending Peter support as they walked. 

‘I’m fine’ Peter insisted, but didn’t exactly want Balthazar to let go. The feel of his arm around his waist – although it was through several layers of clothing – was nice.

Peter sat down on the seat of the snowmobile with a leg on either side, and Balthazar sat down across from him with the small first aid box so that they were facing each other. Balthazar started cleaning the wound, taking extreme care and holding focus, his face so unbelievably close to Peter’s. It was weird for Peter to have someone care _so much_. Sure, his friends and family were all there for him, and they’d all helped him get out of his slump when he’d needed it. But no one had ever treated a petty injury, like this, like it was the Most Important Thing.

When Balthazar was done cleaning the wound, he got out a plaster and carefully put it over the wound. He was so close; Peter could feel his steady breath on his face as he smoothed the plaster over to make sure it didn’t crease. It felt momentous for some reason, and Peter’s pulse sped up.

Peter couldn’t help himself, it was too tempting, and he was _right there_. Slowly, he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Balthazar’s lips. He counted it as a victory that Balthazar didn’t immediately push him away. He let it linger for just a second before he pulled back again, just far enough to be able to see Balthazar’s facial expression. His eyes were closed, and he was smiling. It was a tiny smile, but a smile nonetheless. 

‘I was hoping you’d do that’ Balthazar said then, opening his eyes and looking at Peter. 

‘Yeah?’ Peter asked, the butterflies in his stomach running amuck. His chest was bursting with joy.

‘Yeah’ Balthazar replied, looking him in the eye. 

‘Better do it again, then’ Peter said, leaning into Balthazar’s laughing lips. This one was longer than the first. Balthazar put his hands on either side of Peter’s face, and Peter put one hand on the back of Balthazar’s neck and the other on his thigh. Balthazar’s lips were soft with a little stubble poking through. Peter’s heart was beating unbelievably fast; feeling Balthazar’s fingers in his hair was intoxicating. They broke apart after a few minutes, neither of them moving their hands away.

‘I think I might be warming up to this snowboarding business’ Peter said after a moment. Balthazar laughed and playfully hit his arm, shaking his head. ‘Hey, you’re the one who came up with the romantic scenery’

‘Yeah, because I was totally banking on you sucking so much that you’d get hurt’ Balthazar said, raising his eyebrows. 

‘Well, no. Obviously, that was just you getting lucky’ Peter winked at Balthazar, who hid his face in his hands. 

‘That’s seven – _seven_ – innuendos today. Why, Peter? Why?’ Balthazar laughed. 

‘Who has time for subtlety when there’s kissing to be done?’ Peter asked and leaned in again, kissing Balthazar on the lips. As they kissed, Balthazar scooted a bit closer – or at least, as close as the first aid box between them allowed. 

The rustling of a bush, not far from where they were sitting, broke them apart, and when they turned to look, a fox came sauntering past them. Peter was about to say something, but Balthazar put a hand lightly over his mouth to silence him.

When the fox was gone, Balthazar removed his hand and smiled sheepishly at Peter. ‘Didn’t want to scare it; we are in its territory, after all’

‘You are just too good’ Peter said, kissing Balthazar’s cheek. 


	5. The Diner

The sun had pretty much set by the time they decided it was time to go back to the hotel. On the way, though, Balthazar pulled in to what turned out to be a small diner, and asked if Peter was hungry. He hadn’t noticed until Balthazar asked, but his stomach did growl, so they went inside and found a table. 

The place was very rustic and cosy. The seats looked like they’d each been carved from a single, giant log, and the tables were covered with red and white chequered cloths. At the end of the room there was a fireplace with a fire burning, which heated up the place nicely. After having spent hours outside, Peter was grateful for the heat, and stripped himself of his jacket, gloves and hat as they sat down. Balthazar did the same, sitting down across from Peter.

‘Balthazar!’ said the waitress as she approached them. She was a beautiful lady, most likely in her 40s, with black hair pulled back in a bun, and a very nice smile. They started speaking Norwegian, but from the tone and body language, Peter guessed that they knew each other, but that Balthazar hadn’t been there for a while. She ruffled Balthazar’s hair, and Balthazar smiled and swatted her hand away. Then she turned to Peter and asked a question.

‘Oh, this is Peter – he’s from New Zealand, too’ Balthazar said, attempting to fix his hair. ‘Pete, this is Beate, the owner of this place’

‘Nice to meet you’ Peter said, shaking her hand. ‘It’s a nice place, you’ve got here’

‘Thank you’ Beate said with a welcoming smile. ‘Are you here on vacation?’

‘Yeah, me and my friends thought it would be fun to go somewhere before uni starts again’ Peter said, leaning comfortably back in his seat. This was what he was good at; just chatting to people about superficial stuff and making them like him. He was very aware of the difference between wanting Balthazar to like him and wanting Beate to like him, though. He was less worried about what he was doing with his hands and how his hair looked. He was aware of Balthazar’s eyes on him, though. 

‘So where in New Zealand are you from?’ Beate asked.

‘Auckland’ Peter told her. It was his standard answer. Yes, he lived and went to university in Wellington, but it didn’t feel like home the way Auckland did. He wasn’t sure he’d ever stop saying that he was from Auckland. 

‘Are you serious?’ Balthazar asked, and Peter nodded. ‘That’s so weird; I grew up in Auckland’

‘Yeah? That _is_ kinda weird’ Peter said. What were the odds that they’d grown up in the same city without ever meeting? What if they’d met as children? Would they have become friends? Would they have started dating?

‘Where did you go to high school?’ Balthazar asked curiously. 

‘Messina High’ Peter said, his heart beating fast. If Balthazar had gone to Messina too without Peter having noticed him, he’d definitely be kicking himself for a long time – they may have met long before now if that was the case. 

‘Ah, that’s, like, the opposite side of Auckland from where I lived. I went to Albany’ Balthazar said, leaning back in his seat. 

‘Hmm… I think we may have played a few football matches against your team, then’ Peter said, frowning as he tried remembering. 

‘Maybe, but I never really cared much about football. I only saw a couple of matches because I dated the goalie for a while’ Balthazar admitted, shrugging. Peter didn’t know how to feel about that information. Maybe one of the matches he’d seen was one against Messina when Peter had been captain. His head was spinning with scenarios in which they could have bumped into each other. The fact that Balthazar had had a boyfriend at the time was tucked nicely into the back of Peter’s mind, never to be taken out again.

‘So what can I get you?’ Beate asked after a few moments of silence. Peter had forgotten she was there. ‘The usual for you, I presume, Balthazar?’

‘Yes, please, and if you could put marshmallows in the cocoa, that would be amazing’ Balthazar said with an innocent smile. 

‘For you, I guess I could do that’ Beate said with a wink before turning to Peter. ‘And you?’

‘Oh’ Peter said, not having had a chance to glance at the menu. He looked down to find it in – of course – Norwegian. ‘I don’t…’

‘Are you a picky eater?’ Beate asked. Normally, he’d be offended by such a question, but she sounded more inquisitive than judgmental so he rolled with it. 

‘Nah, I’ll basically eat anything’ Peter said with a shrug. 

‘Then how about I just get you one of our dinner items? Are you allergic to anything? Vegetarian?’ she then asked. 

‘Nah, I’m a little allergic to, like, peanuts, but not fatally’ Peter said. ‘Thanks’

‘No problem, darling’ she said. ‘I’ll be out with your food in a few minutes’

Then she left them to take care of their order.

‘So is this, like, “your place”?’ Peter asked and looked around. ‘It’s really nice’

‘Yeah, it is’ Balthazar said, and Peter could feel his eyes on him. ‘It’s a bit nostalgic, I guess; we used to always stop here on our way to the resort when I came here as a kid. I guess I’ve made it a thing to come here every so often’

Peter looked at him, the butterflies in his stomach rioting at Balthazar’s smile. Their food arrived, and their moment was ruined.

Peter shifted in his seat and winced in discomfort. ‘I’m pretty sure my whole body is going to be one big, black mark by the end of the week’

‘You know, everyone sucks at the beginning. Lord knows I wasn’t always as good at snowboarding as I am now’ Balthazar said. ‘I’ve had my fair share of crashes’

‘I can’t imagine that’ Peter said with a huff of his breath. So far, Balthazar had been good at everything Peter had seen him do.

‘Nah, I’ve definitely done some stupid things. This one year, I think I was about 12, and I was hanging out with these guys, right? I had a huge crush on one of them so I wanted to impress him, right? So he was way better at snowboarding than me, but I didn’t want to admit that, so I followed him onto one of the harder routes, and yeah, long story short, I broke my leg and had to be in a cast for the next six weeks’ Balthazar said, shaking his head at himself. 

‘Did you at least get a date with the guy?’ Peter asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. It made him a little uncomfortable to think about Balthazar liking other guys.

‘Nah, he was, like, 16 and very straight. I think he had a girlfriend, actually. Plus, he was from Stavanger so it would never have worked’ Balthazar said, smiling at Peter. ‘My mum made me promise to never try that hard to impress a guy again’

‘So everything you’ve done since we met had been 100 % you? You haven’t been trying to impress me even a little bit?’ Peter asked jokingly. 

‘I haven’t had to; you’ve been trying enough for the both of us’ Balthazar laughed, amplified by Peter’s offended expression. 

‘I can’t have been that obvious, can I?’ Peter asked, not able to suppress his smile at Balthazar’s laughter. 

‘You refused to let me help you for, like, 15 minutes when I was teaching you to snowboard earlier’ Balthazar laughed. 

‘Well, it worked, didn’t it?’ Peter said, raising his eyebrows.

‘Nah, you’re just lucky I already liked you’ Balthazar said, his cheeks turning pink. Peter’s stomach fluttered. Logically, yes, he was aware that Balthazar liked him – the kissing had been a pretty obvious hint – but hearing him say it was something else. 

-

It was completely dark when they left the diner and went back to the hotel. Balthazar paused at the beginning of the path to the cabins. 

‘What cabin are you in?’ he asked, turning a little to look at Peter. With both of them wearing helmets, facial expressions were obviously unreadable, and Peter desperately wished he could see Balthazar’s face – just because he wanted to look at it. 

‘Um, 21, I think’ Peter replied. Balthazar nodded and took them to the little path cleared to the door of Peter’s cabin. 

The lights were on, and Peter swore he could see the curtains move as they pulled up. Balthazar turned off the motor of the snowmobile and took off his helmet. Peter handed him the helmet and balaclava he’d borrowed, and Balthazar put it on the seat of the snowmobile before he walked Peter all the way to the door.

‘Such a gentleman, walking me to the door’ Peter said, half-joking. In truth, it was charming to have someone do that for him. He was always the one walking people to their doors and then walking home alone. This was a nice change. 

‘I always walk my dates to home’ Balthazar said, taking a step closer to Peter and taking his hand. It felt a little clumsy with the gloves, but the gesture still made the butterflies in Peter’s gut stir. 

‘So this was a date, huh?’ Peter asked with a smile, raising his eyebrows. 

‘I paid for dinner, didn’t I?’ Balthazar said with a smile of his own.

‘Yeah, I suppose you did’ Peter said, wetting his lips, moving closer to Balthazar, putting his hand on his waist. 

‘I’d count that as a date’ Balthazar said, biting his lower lip, his hand on Peter’s upper arm. Their faces were millimetres apart by this point. 

‘Well, then we’d better end it properly’ Peter said, closing the distance between their lips. He could feel Balthazar grabbing a hold of the sleeve of his jacket, and pulled him closer by moving his hand from Balthazar’s waist to his back and pressing his hand against it. They stayed that way for a few minutes, until they heard a crash from inside the cabin. 

‘OH, MY GOD, BENEDICK!’ Bea’s voice bled through the door, and Balthazar let out a soft laugh. They were still close enough for Peter to feel the laugh more than hear it. Peter rolled his eyes. 

‘Can I see you again tomorrow?’ he asked, his voice only slightly above a whisper. 

‘I’d love to, I really would’ Balthazar said reluctantly. ‘But I have classes to teach from, like, nine in the morning to three in the afternoon, and then I have to practice my set for the party on Saturday, so I’d not be able to get away until after dinner at the earliest’

‘Oh, well, then I guess I’ll keep my evening open’ Peter said, kissing him again. He could feel Balthazar’s smile against his cheek. 

Balthazar was the one who broke the kiss eventually. ‘Okay, I should really get back to my room and get some sleep if I’m going to get through tomorrow’

‘Right, I should probably go in and face my friends’ Peter said, reluctantly letting go of Balthazar. ‘But I’ll see you tomorrow evening?’

‘Yeah, I reckon you will. Should I just come pick you up here?’ Balthazar asked, nodding at the door. 

‘Okay, but I warn you: I may not be able to get the door first, and my friends are masters of suggestive comments’ Peter said, raising his eyebrows for emphasis. 

‘Don’t worry, I’m used to it’ Balthazar laughed. ‘I can handle it’

‘See, you say that now’ Peter said, kissing Balthazar again, but this time, it was chaste. 

‘Okay, I’m going to go now, otherwise we’ll be here all night’ Balthazar laughed and stepped back. 

‘I wouldn’t mind that, to be honest’ Peter said, cracking a smile at Balthazar’s laughter. 

‘See, you say that now’ he said, repeating Peter. ‘But when the frostbite hits, I think you’ll regret it’

‘Fine’ Peter said, giving Balthazar’s hand a squeeze before letting go and letting him go back to the snowmobile. ‘Goodnight’

‘Goodnight, Peter’ Balthazar called as he put on his helmet and turned on the motor of the snowmobile. He waved, and Peter waved back, before he made a U-turn and left. 

Peter stood there for a moment, letting the day sink in for a moment. He could still feel Balthazar’s lips on his, and it was hard to keep the smile off his face. He took a deep breath, biting his lower lip, before he turned around and opened the door to the cabin, braving himself for a third degree interrogation from his best friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About Balth going to Albany: I just googled high schools in Auckland and picked the first one I saw, so.


	6. The Friend

‘So Bea and Ben ducked out early; please tell me you’re not going to disappear with Balthazar again today’ Meg said, sitting down on her bed, braiding her damp hair. Peter was checking his phone, fully dressed, sitting on his own bed just waiting for his phone to be fully charged. 

‘Nah’ Peter said, feeling the blood rushing to his cheeks. ‘He has a bunch of stuff to do today’

‘Good! I vote you and I go for a walk and you tell me everything that happened yesterday!’ Meg said, excited by the plan. 

The night before, Peter had been able to stand his ground and not tell his friends anything about his day with Balthazar. He’d had to explain the plaster on his forehead, and they’d seen them kissing through the window so he couldn’t deny that, but he’d still been able to keep his cards close to his chest. He didn’t want to spoil it by thinking too much about what this thing with Balthazar would mean for the state of his heart when they went home, and Bea was sure to get in the way of that. So he’d insisted it was nothing, and that they had nothing to worry about. Meanwhile, he’d had a hard time falling asleep as he’d gone through the day in his head. 

‘I don’t know’ Peter said, looking up from his phone. ‘There’s not much to tell’

‘That’s bullshit and you know it’ Meg said, fixing him with a disbelieving look. ‘I promise not to be a downer; I’m actually glad you’ve found someone’

‘Really?’ Now it was Peter’s turn to fix her with a disbelieving look. 

‘Yeah. You’ve been such a sad sack for such a long time. It’s like you’re finally back to your old self. Or new, improved self, if you will’ Meg said with a sympathetic smile. 

Peter considered Meg for a moment. If he was going to talk about his thing with Balthazar with any of his friends, it would probably be her. And he didn’t have to reveal every detail if he didn’t want to. Honestly, she was the least invasive of their friends when it came to his romantic relationships. 

‘Alright’ he eventually said, deciding that he actually really did want to spend some time with her. Besides, it would make the day go by faster than if he just went to sit in the lounge with his phone or a book. 

-

‘I’m not saying that you need to tell me anything, but _please_ tell me everything!’ Meg said when they’d gotten into their outerwear and were walking aimlessly along the path among the cabins.

‘There’s nothing to tell’ Peter said, but couldn’t hide the smile creeping on his face at the memory of that clearing in the woods of the previous day. 

‘Pete, please. You were gone all day, and that kiss was _so_ not the first’ Meg said, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. 

Peter sighed and shrugged. ‘I don’t know what to tell you, Meg. You know I don’t kiss and tell’

‘Ugh, you’re so _frustrating_! I just want to know about your cute, romantic getaway, where you somehow hit your head and made out with your handsome stranger’ Meg said, pulling at his arm as they walked. 

‘Hmm… you actually just summed up the day pretty well, there’ Peter said, wincing as Meg swatted at his arm. 

‘You know I love you, but I actually hate you right now’ Meg sighed. ‘Hopefully Dag will have better luck with Balthazar this afternoon’

‘You’ve become pretty chummy with that Dag guy, huh?’ Peter asked, frowning a little. He was torn between wanting to know what Balthazar was telling his friends about them and not wanting Balthazar to share anything at all. He honestly wanted this thing between them to stay private, but he also wanted to know if Balthazar just saw it as a bit of fun or if he felt the same way that Peter did. 

‘Well, between Bea and Ben being even more mushy than usual, and you disappearing with Balthazar, I’ve had to entertain myself these past few days’ Meg explained. 

‘Oh, fuck, I’m sorry, Meg. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging like that’ Peter said, his stomach suddenly in knots. He’d let his friend down because of his stupid crush. 

‘No, Pete, it’s fine. Like I said, I’m happy for you’ Meg said, putting a reassuring hand on his arm. ‘I’m just saying that I’ve had to make my own fun, and Dag and his friends have helped with that. Besides, they have a lot of background info on Balthazar, if you’re interested’

‘Nah, I’d rather not talk about him behind his back. I feel like he’ll tell me if there’s anything he thinks I need to know’ Peter said, looking out at the view in front of them. He’d had to put on his sunglasses to shield his eyes from the way the snow shone in the sunshine. 

‘If you’re sure’ Meg said. 

‘I am. Thanks, though. But maybe don’t… I don’t know, don’t try and, like, do research on him or something. I’d like to get to know him at his pace, you know?’ Peter said. They sat down on a bench that had been dug out from the snow, and Meg turned her face up towards the sun. 

‘Okay’ she said. ‘I can respect that’

-

‘At least tell me this’ Meg said, handing Peter a cup of tea. They were back at the cabin after having walked around for about two hours. Eventually, they’d decided that it was too cold, and they were now seated in one of the couches in front of the fire. ‘Is he a good kisser?’

Peter laughed to himself. He should have predicted that question from her. He looked down at his mug of tea with a small smile. ‘Yeah, he is’

‘Good, you should not accept anything but the absolute best’ Meg said, gently bumping their shoulders together. 

‘What about Dag?’ Peter asked, bumping back. 

‘What about him?’ Meg asked, sipping her tea. 

‘There’s no way you haven’t made out with him behind a tree somewhere yet’ Peter said, laughing.

‘We’re not all in a hurry like you, Pete; I’m taking my time with him’ Meg said, shrugging. 

‘You’re gonna do it, though, right?’

‘Oh yeah’ Meg said, as if it was obvious. ‘I’m not going to be the only one on this trip who doesn’t get some lip action!’

‘Cheers to that’ Peter said, holding out his mug. Meg cheered her mug against his, and they both sipped their tea. ‘What are Bea and Ben doing today, anyway?’

‘They were gone when I woke up. I’m guessing they’re skiing all day – that’s what they did yesterday, anyway’ Meg said, putting her mug down on the table beside the sofa, and picked up a magazine. ‘Ben said they tried spying on you, but that you rode away with someone on a snowmobile. I’m assuming that was Balthazar’

‘Yeah, he took me to this forest’ Peter said, not sure how much he wanted to divulge. ‘We saw a fox’

‘As in the animal or as in Balthazar?’ Meg teased, making Peter laugh. 

‘The animal, obviously’ Peter said. ‘Balthazar was already there’

‘Right, my bad. How did he lure you into a forest?’ Meg asked, the magazine open in her lap, though she hadn’t looked at it. 

‘Well, for one, he was the one driving the snowmobile’ Peter said, trying to hold back his laugh. 

Meg shoved him. ‘I’m aware of that; why did you get on the thing in the first place? What was the plan?’

Peter shrugged. He knew how cliché of a pick-up-trick he’d used, and though Meg knew him very well, he was still a little embarrassed to admit to it.

‘Don’t tell me you planned to go to the woods to make out?’ Meg asked, trying to read him. 

‘No, not consciously’ Peter mumbled and sipped his tea. It was starting to reach room-temperature so he gulped it down. 

‘Pete, tell me. You know I don’t judge’ Meg said. ‘Wait, no, let me guess; you got him to give you snowboarding lessons!’

‘Actually, he offered’ Peter said, rolling his eyes at his friend’s triumphant laughter.

‘So he took you to the woods to teach you how to snowboard? And you just randomly started making out? Who made the first move? Give me something here!’ Meg pleaded, poking him in the arm. 

‘I’ve already told a lot more than I was planning on!’ Peter tried, but sighed when Meg sent him a pointed look. ‘I crashed into a branch, and then I kissed him when he was putting on this’ He pointed to the plaster, still on his forehead. 

‘That’s so sweet! I bet it was super romantic, too!’ Meg said, a big smile on her face. ‘Sometimes I really envy you’

‘Why?’ Peter frowned in confusion. 

‘You get to have this exciting holiday romance, and let’s be real here; it’s not exactly the first time this has happened’ she said, looking into his eyes. 

Peter shifted uncomfortably in his seat. ‘That wasn’t the same’

‘No, I know, but you always end up in the middle of situations that, frankly, belong in movies or something’ she said, a sympathetic look in her eyes. ‘Just look at what happened with Julie – or Hero for that sake’ Julie had been the girl who’d broken Peter’s heart back in October. The mere mention of her name stung, though not as much as it had before.

Peter didn’t say anything, just looked down at his, now, empty mug. He’d rather not think about either situation. Both had ended rather painfully for him, and though he knew that Meg had been hurt by the whole Hero thing, too, she – along with everyone else – seemed to have moved on; Peter wasn’t sure how to completely do that. Somehow, it was constantly at the back of his mind. 

‘Do you want some more tea? Mine seems to have gone cold’ Meg said after a few minutes. Peter nodded and handed her his mug. 

-

Bea and Ben got back just as Meg and Peter were talking about starting to make dinner. They ate while Ben recounted how Bea had made a fool of herself, getting on the wrong lift so they’d ended up on one of the hardest routes. This sparked a debate in which Bea insisted she’d done it on purpose, despite what she may have said when they’d been up there. Peter couldn’t help but be reminded of Balthazar’s story from the day before about how he’d broken his leg going down a too hard route. 

Around 8pm, there was a knock on the door. Peter scrambled to get it, succeeding in pushing Ben away at the last second, and opened the door to find Balthazar standing outside. 

‘Hey’ Peter said, the butterflies in his stomach stirring at the smile on Balthazar’s face, and leaned against the door. 

‘Hey’ he said, ducking his head. ‘You ready to go?’

‘Yeah, just let me get my jacket. We’re not going to be outside, are we?’

Balthazar laughed. ‘No’

‘Good; it’s too damn cold’ Peter said. As he was putting on his boots, Balthazar’s brows furrowed in confusion for a second at something behind Peter. When he looked, Bea, Meg, and Ben were standing in the middle of the room, looking at them, smiling. Peter rolled his eyes at them. ‘Way to be totally normal, guys’

‘Aren’t you going to introduce us, Peter?’ Ben asked as Peter stood up and started putting on his jacket. 

‘Uh, we met, actually. In the lobby, a few days ago?’ Balthazar said. ‘You’re Ben, right?’

‘I am indeed. You have an excellent memory, my friend’ Ben said. ‘This is my girlfriend, Bea, and our friend, Meg’

‘We met a few days ago, too’ Bea said, and Balthazar nodded in agreement. 

‘I didn’t. I’ve heard a lot about you, though. Both from Dag and this one’ Meg said, nodding towards Peter who was trying to get ready as fast as possible. This was kind of mortifying. 

‘Yeah, he says you’re nice’ Balthazar said, and if Peter wasn’t mistaken, he let out a sigh of relief when Peter was done putting on his outerwear. 

‘Right, we’ll go now. I’ll see you later, guys’ Peter said, ushering Balthazar out. 

‘Have fun, and remember to use protec-‘ Ben was cut off by the door closing behind them. Peter scrubbed his hands over his face. 

‘I didn’t think I’d come here with my embarrassing parents’ he mumbled, and Balthazar chuckled. 

‘Come on, they weren’t _that_ bad’ Balthazar offered, but Peter fixed him with a disbelieving look. ‘Okay, they were, but at least I don’t like you less for it’

‘Thank god for that’ Peter said, stopping him by grabbing his arm, and pulled him in for a kiss. ‘Hey’

‘Hey’ Balthazar replied, rising to his tip-toes, and pressed another kiss to Peter’s lips. They stood there for a few minutes, kissing, until a particularly cold gust of wind hit them. 

Peter took Balthazar’s hand and stepped back. ‘Where to?’

‘I have a bottle of wine in my hotel room’ Balthazar said, laughing at Peter’s raised eyebrow. ‘I’m not insinuating we do anything but drink that wine and talk’

‘I didn’t say anything!’ Peter laughed defensively. 

‘You didn’t have to; your eyebrow is very eloquent’ Balthazar said, intentionally bumping into Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of last night, the story is done, I just need to make the last edits. And it's going to have a part two, which was always the plan, but I need to write that one first, so I'll get to work on that when I've handed in my next paper for uni! Hope you like it so far!


	7. The Wine

Balthazar’s hotel room bore evidence that he wasn’t just staying there for vacation. There were a few books on the night stand, there were two snowboards placed carefully against one of the walls, and on the bed lay a guitar and an open notebook. There was also a ukulele on the table by the mirror, and a guitar stand by the sofa that was set up against the window. On the coffee table was a bottle of wine, opened, and two water glasses. 

‘Yeah, I don’t have any wine glasses, I hope you can cope’ Balthazar said as he was taking off his jacket and boots, when Peter raised his eyebrows at the sight. 

‘I don’t know; if I drink _wine_ from a _water_ glass, what’s next? Buying second hand books? _Caring about the environment_?’ Peter said in mock-offence while he got out of his outerwear.

‘You’re ridiculous’ Balthazar laughed and shook his head.

‘The world would simply perish if I allowed myself to drink _wine_ from a _water_ glass’ Peter went on, sitting down on the sofa next to Balthazar, who was pouring the wine.

‘What have I gotten myself into?’ Balthazar asked, handing a glass to Peter, and looked like he was trying very hard, and failing, not to smile.

‘You think I’m funny, just admit it’ Peter said, nudging Balthazar’s knee, and took a sip of the wine. 

‘I think you’re funny _looking_ ’ Balthazar shot, laughing at Peter’s exaggeratedly offended expression. 

‘Take that back right now!’ Peter said, his eyes wide, trying not to smile. It was hard, though, because Balthazar was doubling over, laughing, and it was so damn charming and contagious. 

‘Never!’ Balthazar managed to say before he calmed down a little and looked at Peter. ‘But then, you’re lucky I like that in a man’

He leaned forward and kissed Peter, and the butterflies in Peter’s stomach fluttered. He put a hand on the side of Balthazar’s face, thoroughly enjoying the feel of Balthazar’s tongue running across his lower lip as they kissed. 

When they broke apart, Peter couldn’t help but smile. ‘You’re really good at that’ he said, looking into Balthazar’s eyes. Their faces were still close. 

‘You’re not so bad yourself’ Balthazar said, leaning in again. The thing about kissing Balthazar was that he seemed so meticulous about every single movement of his lips and tongue. Everything seemed deliberate. Yet it felt natural as well; none of it felt forced, and honestly, Peter had never kissed anyone better than him. 

Balthazar pulled away and shifted so that he was leaning against Peter’s side, and Peter put his arm around him. The gesture felt so unbelievably intuitive, which was new to Peter. In the past, he’d always been so insecure about what to do and how far he could go, but with Balthazar all he had to do was follow his lead. 

‘Have you been writing?’ Peter asked, gesturing with his wine-holding hand at the guitar on the bed. 

‘Yeah. I haven’t had a lot of time, though; Dag only left about an hour ago’ Balthazar said, yawning. ‘It took longer than we thought to get the set for tomorrow in place’

‘Is this set tomorrow something the public can see?’ Peter asked. This was the second time Balthazar had alluded to this performance without explaining it. 

‘Are you calling yourself “the public” now?’ Balthazar laughed, looking up at Peter, who shrugged. ‘Yeah, you can come see it. We’re opening the party that’s happening in the lounge tomorrow night’

‘I can’t believe I haven’t heard of that party until now; I’d have brought one of my nice shirts’ Peter sighed, only half-joking. The nicest shirt he’d brought was a blue sweater which, granted, he looked damn good in, but he had a few shirts at home that he’d have preferred to be able to wear to that party. 

‘Nah, it’s not, like, formal or anything. It’s just basically the bar staying open longer than usual with music playing a little louder than usual’ Balthazar said and sipped his wine. 

-

Peter exited the bathroom when he caught sight of a napkin on Balthazar’s bedside table. For some reason, he needed to know if it was the one with his number on it, so he went over and picked it up. Sure enough, on the napkin was his phone number in his own handwriting. Over it, in a different handwriting, _Peter from the bar_ , was scribbled. He couldn’t help but smile a little. 

‘What?’ Balthazar asked from the sofa, sounding apprehensive. 

‘So you _did_ keep my number. I’ve been wondering’ Peter said, holding up the napkin. 

‘Well, yeah. You said I could use it, so I kept it’ Balthazar said casually, though his face was turning a deep shade of red. 

Peter’s stomach fluttered, and he put the napkin back down and returned to the sofa, pulling Balthazar in for a kiss. 

‘You’re cute’ he said when he pulled away. 

‘Shut up’ Balthazar mumbled and kissed him again.

-

‘Oh no’ Balthazar whispered, making Peter – there’s no other word for it – giggle, as he turned the bottle upside down over the glass to emphasise that it was empty. ‘No more wine’

‘It’s a catastrophe’ Peter said, trying not to laugh. ‘We’d better _whine_ about it’

Balthazar rolled his eyes at the pun and sighed. ‘I think maybe Dag has another one; he’s the one to go to for booze around here. I’ll text ‘im’

Peter leaned back in his seat and watched Balthazar. They were both tipsy; Balthazar’s cheeks were permanently rosy from the wine, and his eyes seemed bigger than normal. In other words, he was utterly adorable, and Peter never wanted to stop looking at him. 

It wasn’t more than five minutes before there was a knock on the door, and Balthazar got up and answered it. Peter leaned so far to the side, to be able to see who it was, that he was basically lying down on the sofa, held up by his elbow. 

It was Dag. ‘Hi Peter’ he called and waved with a grin. Peter waved back. Dag said something to Balthazar in Norwegian that made Balthazar look back at Peter before quickly turning back to Dag, saying something in a tone that convinced Peter that he was saying ‘Dude, be cool!’ or something along those lines.

Dag laughed and handed Balthazar a bottle. ‘Enjoy the wine’ he then said in English before Balthazar closed the door. 

‘Sometimes I hate him’ Balthazar mumbled, hiding his face in the hand that wasn’t holding the bottle. 

‘What did he say?’ Peter asked, sitting up as Balthazar joined him on the sofa again and started opening the wine.

‘Nothing’ Balthazar mumbled, his face an alarming shade of red that Peter found way too attractive. ‘He was just being stupid’

‘Ah, yes’ Peter said. Then something dawned on him, and he put his face in his hands, groaning. ‘Shit, he’d going to tell Meg’

‘Tell her what?’ Balthazar asked as he poured the wine, handing Peter his glass. 

‘That we’re here, drinking wine. She’d going to be a pain, assuming so many things. I apologise in advance for any suggestive comments tomorrow’ 

Balthazar laughed. ‘I forgive you, especially since it’s my fault’ he said and sipped his glass. ‘Besides, my friends are at least as bad as yours; you just haven’t seen it yet. I’m sure they already-‘ Balthazar’s phone buzzed, and he checked it, snorting. ‘Yep, they already know’

He handed Peter the phone, showing the lock screen filled with texts from various people all sending a single winky-face-smiley. Peter threw his head back, laughing, and handed the phone back to Balthazar. 

-

‘How does your hair _do_ that?’ Balthazar asked fascinated, cocking his head a little and touching it lightly. They were halfway through the second bottle, facing each other on the sofa.

‘What’s it doing?’ Peter asked, not at all concerned with how his hair looked. He was too intoxicated by both Balthazar and the wine to care. 

‘It sort of…’ he cocked his head to the other side, a concentrated frown on his face. ‘…It looks like it’s trying to be a palm tree’

Peter snorted at that and started laughing hysterically; that was not what he’d expected him to say. 

Balthazar laughed as well. ‘That’s the best way I can describe it! It didn’t look like that earlier, though. It’s weird; your hair is weird. Pretty, but very weird’

‘Thanks?’ Peter said, reaching out and touching Balthazar’s hair. ‘You have pretty hair too’

‘You know, you say you have flaws, but so far all I’ve discovered is that you like to make really bad puns’ Balthazar said, emptying his glass. 

Peter could feel his face fall, and he looked down. His whole mood basically took a nosedive, all the joy he’d felt only seconds before evaporating. He started cracking his knuckles and contemplated making up an excuse to go back to the cabin. He didn’t want to spoil the evening with his bad mood.

Balthazar’s eyes grew wide when he saw Peter’s face. ‘Oh god, I’m so sorry, that was not-‘

‘No, it’s fine’ Peter reassured him, waving him off. ‘I just think my friends would disagree with you pretty strongly on that’

‘No, I really am sorry. Fuck, my filter kinda goes away when I drink wine, I’m so sorry’ Balthazar said, running a hand through his hair which made it stick up more than usual. 

‘Balth, forget it. I just… something happened in high school. I fucked up big time’ Peter said with a sigh. 

‘You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to’ Balthazar said, his eyes darting around Peter’s face. Peter smiled weakly at him. He might as well tell him. Whatever this thing was between them, Balthazar should know what he was getting himself into, should he want some form of relationship. Besides, Balthazar wasn’t the only one whose filter went away when he drank wine.

‘I’m a little afraid you’ll kick me out when I’m done telling you, to be honest’ he admitted, and Balthazar moved closer, taking Peter’s hand. 

‘I promise I won’t do that’ he said with such an honest look in his eyes that Peter almost believed him. 

Peter took a deep breath, steeling himself, before he started talking. 

‘So back in high school I was captain of the football team, I was student leader, and I had this reputation of being an “All Round Great Guy” – a phrase Bea coined, by the way. And I believed it, too. Like, I believed that I was this perfect, good guy, and that I had to live up to that title. And my brother, John, was just the exact opposite of me; dark, quiet loner type, so I kept putting this pressure on him to be better, and be more like me. 

Anyway, Bea has this cousin, Hero, who’s just an absolute sweetheart, and she was in the year below us with one of mine and Ben’s friends, Claudio. So Hero and Claudio started dating when I was in Year 13, and everything was great, until John – who I barely talked to at that point – took me aside and told me that Hero was cheating’

Peter took another deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to figure out how to tell the story. When he opened his eyes, Balthazar was looking at him, quietly waiting for him to go on. He squeezed Peter’s hand, and Peter went on. 

‘So I didn’t believe John at first, because this was Hero we were talking about – she’s a literal angel – but he kept insisting that he had evidence, so I humoured him. So me, Claudio and John went to- Fuck, this is going to sound so bad’

‘You don’t have to…’ Balthazar repeated, but Peter looked him in the eye, and he trailed off. 

‘We basically went to spy on Hero’s bedroom window, and we saw – or we thought we saw – Hero having sex with this guy, Robbie. Turned out it was Meg who was dating Robbie at the time, but we honestly thought it was Hero. So Claudio was crushed and I was confused, and then at Hero’s 16th birthday, Claudio sort of blew up on her, calling her a slut, and I- Fuck, I told people to film it’

He’d never talked through the events like this. He’d never said out loud exactly what he’d done, and as he was saying it, he was reminded of just how big of an asshole he’d been. 

‘So after that, Hero didn’t come to school for some time, and people were saying all these awful things online about her, and John disappeared, and then suddenly Robbie came up to Claudio and me and confessed so we realised how big dicks we’d been. I’ve barely talked to him since – Claudio, I mean. I spent the rest of the year trying to make up for it, proving how sorry I was about what I’d done to Hero.’

There was a moment where neither of them spoke, and then, ‘Did John come back?’

‘Yeah, he did. But only after he’d confessed to having orchestrated the whole thing because he hated me’ Peter said, suddenly very tired. 

‘That doesn’t make any sense’ Balthazar said, frowning in confusion. ‘How did this hurt you?’

‘He wanted to tear down my image, I guess, and at that time my image was all I felt like I had. And the thing is, it wouldn’t have worked if I’d actually been as great as everyone said I was. It was kind of brilliant, really. So after all that happened, everything returned to normal, except I basically lost my whole identity and had to start from scratch when I went to university – or no, not from scratch, I basically did a 180 and assumed I was this awful person. It took most of last year for my friends to convince me that I’m okay. But I’m definitely not flawless’

‘Wow’ Balthazar said, blowing out a breath. ‘That’s a lot’

‘Yeah’ Peter said, looking down at where Balthazar was still holding his hand. 

‘But it seems like your friends have forgiven you’

‘Yeah, they’re pretty great. I had a long talk with them after this thing happened back in October, so we’re cool now, but for a while there, I was pretty sure they hated me’ Peter admitted. 

‘What happ- no, you don’t have to tell me. You’ve already told me so much’ Balthazar said, shaking his head. 

‘It’s fine. I basically fell in love with this girl, Julie, and she basically ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I think the reason that my friends chose that time to talk to me was because I genuinely thought it was my fault, because she could sense how awful I was. Turned out she was the one who was awful’ Peter said. The memory would probably never be pleasant, but it didn’t sting quite as much as it had a couple of weeks earlier. 

‘I’m sorry to hear that’ Balthazar said. ‘I’ve fallen for some idiots, too, so I can relate to an extent, I guess’

‘Yeah, well. Now you know some of my flaws’ Peter said, squeezing Balthazar’s hand. 

‘And I didn’t kick you out! It must be a miracle!’ Balthazar joked, and Peter was grateful for his attempt at lightening the mood. 

‘Nah, you’re just way too good for me’ Peter said, leaning in and kissing him. Somehow, getting to tell him about those turning points of his life had made his chest feel lighter, as if a weight had been lifted. Balthazar knew about his momentous fuck-up and still wanted to kiss him. That was a huge victory.


	8. The Snowstorm

Peter woke up, fully clothed, with a blanket draped over him, on a sofa. Sleeping with his head on Peter’s chest, was Balthazar. It took a moment for Peter to remember how the night before had ended. By the time they’d finished the second bottle of wine, Balthazar had been falling asleep on Peter’s shoulder, and Peter had decided that it was time to end the night. 

However, when he’d moved to get up, Balthazar had wrapped his arms around his waist and whispered, ‘No, stay’, so Peter had laid them down on the sofa and pulled the blanket – that had been draped over the back of the sofa – over them.

He had a dull headache, and the sun coming through the window was way too bright for his liking, but the feel of Balthazar’s body pressed against his was enough for him to be in a good mood. 

Just as he was contemplating going back to sleep, Balthazar stirred, opening his eyes, and looked up at Peter. A lazy smile spread on his face.

‘Good morning’ Peter said, returning the smile. 

‘Morning’ Balthazar said with a yawn, rubbing his eye. ‘What time is it?’

Peter pulled his phone out of his pocket. ’11:11’ He said and snorted. ‘Make a wish’

‘Mmh, I wish I could go back to sleep’ Balthazar mumbled, burying his face in Peter’s chest, making the butterflies in his stomach flutter. 

‘Why can’t you do that?’ Peter asked, tempted to close his eyes and go back to sleep himself. 

‘Dag’s coming here at noon to rehearse for tonight, and then I have a class to teach at two’ Balthazar said through another yawn and pushed himself up. He looked out the window and frowned. ‘Or maybe I don’t if that weather continues’

‘What weather?’ Peter asked, sitting up too. Outside it was snowing so much that it was hard to see anything else. It was the kind of snow that he’d seen in films and been convinced wasn’t an actual thing that happened in nature; turned out he’d been wrong about that. ‘Shit, that’s going to make the walk back to the cabin unpleasant’

‘Yeah, you’re not going outside until it’s calmed down a little’ Balthazar said, standing and walking to the bathroom. 

‘Desperate to make me stay, huh?’ Peter called with a smile. 

‘Whether that’s true or not, it’s beside the point; it’s not safe to go outside in that kind of snow’ Balthazar said, leaning against the doorframe to the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth. 

‘ _Weather_ that’s true or not?’

Balthazar rolled his eyes. ‘Shut up’ he said and went back into the bathroom. 

Peter stretched his arms and legs, waking up his body a little more. On the coffee table were two empty bottles of wine and two water glasses as well as a half-eaten box of crackers that Balthazar had pulled out of somewhere at some point. He scratched his scalp, running his fingers through his hair. 

‘Do you want to borrow a toothbrush? I haven’t used the one the hotel provided’ Balthazar said when he came out from the bathroom again, the button-down that he’d been wearing before now draped over his arm, wearing a white T-shirt. He went to the chest of drawers and started rummaging through it. 

‘If you wouldn’t mind’ Peter said, getting up from the sofa and stretching again as he stood. 

‘Nah, it’s fine; let it fulfil its purpose’ Balthazar laughed, pulling out a maroon T-shirt and throwing it on the bed before going through a different drawer. 

Peter snorted. ‘Alright’ he said, going into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, and made an attempt at fixing his hair, which – as Balthazar had pointed out the night before – had reached the point of ridiculousness. 

When he exited the bathroom, Balthazar had changed and was sitting on the bed with his guitar in his lap and his notebook in front of him. Peter leaned on the doorframe, just watching him for a moment. He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand up all over the place, humming a melody that Peter hadn’t heard before. Balthazar looked up just in time for Peter’s stomach to growl embarrassingly loud. 

‘Breakfast?’ he asked with a laugh.

-

A couple of hours later, the snow had calmed down enough for Peter to be able to get from the hotel to the cabin with the help of Balthazar as guide. When Dag had showed up at Balthazar’s room with a violin case in his hands, Peter had excused himself and gone to sit in the lounge with his phone, despite Balthazar’s insisting that he wouldn’t be in the way. He sat in the lounge, checking his social media until Balthazar appeared in front of him with his jacket and scarf, saying that he could walk him to his cabin if he wanted. 

At first, Peter was convinced Balthazar had insisted on walking him to his cabin because he didn’t want to let him go, but it turned out that it was still hard to navigate the snow if you didn’t know the area like the back of your hand. 

‘You can come in, if you want. I’m not sure how I feel about you going back alone’ Peter said when they’d reached the door. His ears were hurting from the cold, and he cursed the fact that he hadn’t put on a hat the night before. 

‘I’ll be fine. Besides, I have to help set up for the party tonight’ Balthazar said, his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket. He stood up on his tip-toes and kissed Peter on the lips, sweet and chaste, before he started going on his way back. 

‘At least text me when you get back so I know you’re safe’ Peter called after him. 

‘I promise!’ Balthazar called back. He was almost out of sight by now, despite not being more than a few metres away. 

Peter had only just gotten out of his outerwear and sat down in the armchair when he got a text. 

Unknown number:  
 _Literally just stepped into the lobby, safe and sound :)_

Peter smiled at his phone and saved Balthazar’s number. It puzzled him for a moment that Balthazar had a New Zealand number, but decided not to think too much about it. He probably had two numbers anyway, to make it easier to communicate with his friends back home when he went home for holidays or something along those lines. 

Peter:  
 _Good. Was worried there, for a moment :)_

‘So?’ Ben asked, handing him a mug of tea and sitting down in the sofa next to Bea. Meg was at the dining table on her laptop, earphones in, writing away – no doubt on that article she’d been talking about. 

‘So what?’ Peter asked, putting his phone in his pocket. 

‘Peter, you literally just did the walk of shame. As your best friends, we demand details!’ Bea said, gesturing toward Peter’s clothes which he hadn’t had a chance to change yet. 

‘There’s not much to tell; we stayed up until late, talking, and then I slept on the couch in his hotel room because it got too late. And then this snowing kinda prevented me from leaving the hotel until now’ Peter said, shrugging. It wasn’t a lie, exactly. He was just leaving some bits out – like the wine, and the fact that Balthazar had slept on the couch with him. They didn’t need to know that. 

‘Oh, come on! There must be more to it than that!’ Ben said, obviously disappointed with the lack of information that Peter was giving them. 

‘There really isn’t. Anyway, are you coming to the party at the hotel tonight? Balth and Dag are playing some music, I think’ he said, mostly to distract them. 

‘Oh yeah! We are ready to partay!’ Ben said, doing something he’d probably call a dance with his upper body, but to Peter it just looked like he was having some sort of stroke. 

-

Spending the afternoon with his best friends made Peter feel a little bad about having spent so much time with Balthazar on this trip. Sure, they lived together in Wellington, and it wasn’t as though they hadn’t seen each other over Christmas and New Years in Auckland, but this trip had been an attempt at spending some quality time together before university took over their lives again. So when Bea started making hot chocolate, Peter suggested they play one of the board games that the cabin provided. They got Meg to close down her laptop, and for a couple of hours, it felt a little like it had when they’d been in school and spent breaks doing everything and nothing together as a group. 

They ate an early dinner, and after that, they began getting ready for the party. Peter put on his navy blue sweater, which he’d been complimented on numerous times, and spent a while in front of the little mirror in his and Meg’s room doing his hair, since the girls had taken over the bathroom after both Ben and Peter was done showering. He also texted Balthazar to make sure it was safe for them to even leave the cabin. 

Balthy:  
 _You’ll still need a guide. I’ll come get you when you’re ready, as long as it’s not too close to when my set begins :)_


	9. The Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to hear the song that I wrote the lyrics out to in this chapter, just find If You Were Gone by Alexander Rybak on either YouTube or Spotify, or something like that.

Balthazar came to get them around half an hour before he’d told Peter his set was supposed to begin. Peter had been dreading the walk a little, since it would give Bea, Meg, and Ben the opportunity to tease the two of them, but because the snow was still heavily coming down, and the wind was blowing pretty hard, they all just concentrated on getting from point A to point B. 

‘You can hang your coats in the staff room; just make sure to have either me or one of the other instructors with you when you go to get them’ Balthazar said, and then, when they all looked confused, added: ‘You need a key’

Meg and Peter went to sit down in one of the sofas while Bea and Ben got them all drinks, and Balthazar joined Dag by the stage, setting up the last things for their set. Peter couldn’t keep his eyes off Balthazar. He was wearing the maroon T-shirt and black skinny jeans that he’d changed into that morning, but he’d thrown an open, black cardigan over the T-shirt, and Peter couldn’t deny to himself that he looked really fucking good. 

‘Look at you’ Meg cooed in his ear. ‘Losing yourself at the sight of him’

Peter felt his face grow hot and forced himself to look away from Balthazar. ‘I am not _losing_ myself’

‘Oh, you so are’ Meg said, bumping her shoulder against his. ‘It’s really cute, too’

Peter rolled his eyes, but made eye contact with Balthazar in the same moment and couldn’t help but smile. 

The lounge filled up quickly, and in no time Balthazar and Dag ascended the stage, and Dag approached the microphone. 

‘Hei allesammen, jeg heter Dag, og dette er Balthazar, og vi skal spille et par sanger for dere i kveld’ he said, and Peter looked to confirm that Meg, Bea, and Ben were just as confused as he was. He had no idea what Dag had just said.

‘Yes, so – like Dag said – we’ll be playing a few songs for you’ Balthazar said into his own microphone with an amused smile directed at Peter. ‘First timers may not know this, but we have a little tradition for the instructors to put on a show for you to kick off the parties at this hotel, and it’s our turn now, so we hope you like what we have prepared for you. Our Scandinavian guests may know this first one; it’s an English version of a song called _Vårsøg_ ’

He took a moment, guitar in hand, made eye contact with Dag, who readied himself with his violin, before they started. 

_If you were gone, the moon would lose its brightness_  
_Without your smile, the finch would sing no more_  
_And once in a while some waves would sigh with sadness_  
_Remembering two lovers walking by the shore_

_If you were gone, the days would all be pointless_  
_And in the night, I’d sing a song so blue_  
_A song about spring and every happy moment_  
_When I had all the time alone with you_

_But you’re right here and nothing could be better_  
_So take my hand and stay with me ‘till dawn_  
_And while the wind is playing with your sweater_  
_I can’t imagine life if you were gone_

As Dag played a verse on the violin, Peter caught Balthazar’s eyes. They shared a small smile, and Balthazar looked down at his guitar. Peter tried not to read too much into the song, but the sappy, hopeless romantic in him was melting at the thought of Balthazar possibly singing it _to_ or about him. 

_But you’re right here and nothing could be better_  
_So take my hand and stay with me ‘till dawn_  
_And while the wind is playing with your sweater_  
_I can’t imagine life if you were gone_

_If you were gone, the world would lose its meaning_  
_Without your love, how could I smile again?_  
_And though the sun would always keep on shining_  
_I’d never shine without my dearest friend_

_But you’re right here and nothing could be better_  
_So take my hand and stay with me ‘till dawn_  
_And while the wind is playing with your sweater_  
_I can’t imagine life if you were gone_

Dag finished up the song beautifully on his violin, but Peter couldn’t take his eyes off of Balthazar. Not only did the words go straight to Peter’s heart, Balthazar looked so at ease and at home in the music that it was utterly captivating. It seemed that there wasn’t a single thing Balthazar did that Peter didn’t find endearing in one way or another. 

They played a few more songs; Dag sang one in Norwegian, one of the girls that had been with Bea, Meg, and Ben on the ski trip sang one in Swedish, and Balthazar sang two in English – a Mumford & Sons song – _Little Loin Man_ – and an original song called _Stay_. 

During the set, Balthazar had consistently met Peter’s eye in between making sure he placed his fingers correctly on the fret. But when it came to the original song, which Dag made sure to highlight that Balthazar had written all by himself, he looked anywhere but Peter. 

It was a beautiful song, and Peter tried to convince himself that Balthazar couldn’t _possibly_ have written it after they’d met. Sure, there were a lot of references to things they’d done together – the bottle of wine they’d shared the night before, for one – but when would he have had time to write it? That afternoon? Surely he wouldn’t perform it already if he’d only just finished it. No, this had to be a coincidence and be about someone else. Maybe this was just how Balthazar treated everyone he had a… well, _thing_ with.

Besides, Balthazar wasn’t the one who’d have to stay if it was about them. Peter refused to think about that, though. He wanted to live in the moment and be spellbound by Balthazar while he could. 

When the performance was over, music started playing from the speakers, and Meg and Peter made their way to Dag and Balthazar, who were packing away their instruments and gear. 

‘That was amazing!’ Meg said and hugged Dag. ‘That last song was really beautiful, too!’

‘That was all Balthazar’ Dag insisted, putting a hand on Balthazar’s shoulder. 

‘I’m still not sure it was ready’ Balthazar said, rubbing the back of his neck, looking anywhere but Peter. ‘I kept thinking of things to change while we were playing it’

‘No, it was absolutely amazing! Don’t you think, Pete?’ Meg asked with a knowing smile on her face, winking at him. 

‘What?’ Peter asked, having been in his own world for a moment. So the song _was_ new. But _how_ new? ‘Yeah, you were brilliant!’

‘Thanks’ Balthazar said, shy smile on his face as he looked at Peter. Peter felt his pulse speed up as their eyes met. He felt unbelievably light, as if he’d start floating away at any moment if he didn’t hold on to something. 

‘We should get our things up to our rooms, Balth’ Dag said, making Balthazar break his eye contact with Peter. 

‘Yeah. You guys should go get some drinks; we’ll be out in a minute’ Balthazar said, picking up his guitar case. He and Dag left, and Peter and Meg went to the bar to order their drinks. 

‘He’s so gone for you’ Meg said as they waited for the bartender to make their drinks. 

‘Nah’ Peter said, more to himself. If he let himself believe that, he’d only fall in deeper than he already was, and he really needed to get a hold of himself. 

‘Dude, he wrote a _song_ about you’ she said, raising her eyebrows. 

‘That could have been about anyone’ he pointed out, sipping the beer that had just been put in front of him. 

‘Sure, but he said it was rough, and he doesn’t exactly strike me as someone who has casual relationships’ Meg said, sipping her own drink. 

‘Look, can you just… leave it? Please?’ Peter asked, frustration seeping through his voice. He was not at all comfortable with this topic. He didn’t need to be convinced that that song had been about him. 

‘Fine, I’m just saying’ she said defensively, holding her hands up in defeat. 

They joined Bea and Ben in the sofa groups again. They were talking to a few of Dag and Balthazar’s colleagues, some sitting in the sofas, some sitting on the floor in front of them. 

Dag and Balthazar joined them soon after, beers in hand. Dag sat down next to Meg, leaving no room for Balthazar to sit anywhere. 

‘Looks like you’ll have to stand there all night’ Peter teased as Balthazar looked intently on the sofa in which Dag, Meg, and Peter sat. He was chewing on his lower lip, looking like he was considering something.

‘Nah’ he then said before he sat down in Peter’s lap. It took Peter by surprise, but no one else seemed to bat an eye at the action – well, except for Meg who subtly elbowed Peter. With an arm around Peter’s shoulders, Balthazar seemed so comfortable, as he laughed at something Peter hadn’t heard. He seemed to notice the surprise on Peter’s face, though, because he got an insecure look in his eyes and asked, ‘Shit, I’m sorry, does this make you uncomfortable?’

It took a moment for Peter to respond, as his heart was suddenly pounding in his chest. But then he wrapped his arms around Balthazar’s waist and said, ‘No, this is fine’.

‘All I’m saying is that I want to know which type of finch in particular the song is talking about!’ Ben said, making the whole group laugh. ‘I’m serious. Is it the European goldfinch? The common chaffinch? _The Eurasian bullfinch_? There’s a difference, you know; they sing in different ways’

‘I’m sure it’s supposed to be left to your interpretation’ Dag said. ‘Speaking of interpretation, that reminds me of this great story; there was this man here a few years back, and he- Actually, Balth, you tell this story way better than I do’

Everyone’s attention shifted to where Balthazar was sitting on Peter’s lap. Peter suddenly became very aware of where exactly his hands were resting on Balthazar’s waist and thigh. He didn’t want to move them, though, because that was bound to just draw more attention to it. Besides, he rather liked resting them there.

‘I really don’t’ Balthazar said, sipping his beer. He seemed so relaxed that Peter almost felt ashamed of how embarrassed he was by everyone seeing them like that. 

‘In English you do’ Dag said, leaning forward and putting his empty bottle on the table in front of them. Only then, did Peter realise that he had his arm on the back of the sofa behind Meg. Things were happening for Meg tonight, he could feel it. 

‘Fine’ Balthazar sighed. ‘So I was just sitting here, minding my own business, reading this book that my English teacher had recommended me to read over summer, and this man came up to me. So he sat down across from me and started talking about the book, and I just nodded and smiled and waited for him to go away so I could keep reading, but he went on and on about how someone had once told him that the protagonist was supposed to symbolise gay people and how angry that had made him because apparently this book was his favourite, and he was _definitely not_ gay. And I just sat there, feeling really awkward, and I guess Dag heard his rant from the other side of the room because he came up to me and was like: “Hey honey, are you ready for our date?” And I guess the man got a little embarrassed because he stopped mid-sentence and left’

‘You left out the best part’ Dag said, laughing. ‘He was here for, like, a week and a half and kept sending us shifty looks every time we were in a room with him’

‘That’s how we met, wasn’t it?’ Balthazar asked, his finger running in circles on Peter’s shoulder. It was rather distracting. 

‘Yeah, I think it was! Man, that was a good winter’ Dag said. 

‘So have you all been friends for years?’ Meg asked, looking around the group.

‘Yeah, we’re pretty much the core of the instructor team. We’re the ones who come up here every winter to make some money’ a blonde girl said. 

‘It’s so weird that you call it winter when we’re literally on summer holiday here’ Bea said, sipping her drink. 

‘Yeah, I had to get used to it too, when I started coming here’ Balthazar said. ‘My family and I came here for Christmas one year; _that_ was weird’

‘I can imagine’ Bea said, and Peter didn’t miss the way she was looking at the two of them. It was like she was happy for them but apprehensive as well. She smiled when he caught her eye, though, and gave a nod of approval. Peter didn’t know quite how to feel about that; he didn’t need his friends’ approval on his relationships, but it was nice to know that Bea didn’t seem to be expecting the worst.


	10. The Note

Balthazar had been right when he’d described the party as it not being anything but the bar staying open later and the music playing louder, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t fun. Peter found himself having more fun than he’d had at a party in a long time. That may have been because of Balthazar, though. The whole time, Balthazar was by his side or seated on his lap. They were almost constantly touching, the way he’d criticised Bea and Ben doing numerous times in the past. 

After a couple of hours, everyone seemed to break off in pairs. Bea and Ben stayed in the sofa all night, tangled up in each other. Bea pulled Ben onto the dance floor for a couple of songs, but for the most part, they just sat together, talking. Meg and Dag spent their time either on the dance floor or at the bar, flirting heavily. The other instructors, Balthazar informed Peter when they were standing side by side by the bar, were either dating each other or had a recurring fling. 

‘Malin and Andreas are from Finland and Denmark so they only see each other here, and neither of them want to do long distance, so they just hook up whenever they’re both working here. Therese and Maiken used to date, but now I think they just have sex when they want to. And Theodor and Mari have been a couple for years’ Balthazar explained, pointing out the people as he told him about it. Peter wasn’t paying attention; he was too busy marvelling at the way Balthazar’s jaw moved when he talked, wanting desperately to kiss it.

Balthazar looked at him when he hadn’t said anything after Balthazar had clearly expected him to. They locked eyes for a second, before Peter forced himself to look away.

‘So who do you have a recurring fling with?’ Peter asked, scouting around the room as he leaned against the bar. 

‘You’ Balthazar said and stepped up to stand in front of him, putting his hands on Peter’s waist. He’d become increasingly handsy as the night had progressed, not that Peter minded. He tried not to put too much stock in being referred to as a fling, since that was most likely what this was going to end up being, so he ran his hands up Balthazar’s arms and kissed him back, when Balthazar leaned in. 

‘Ew, get a room!’ Meg’s voice broke them apart, but not far; neither of them removed their hands. Balthazar leaned against him, his cheek resting against Peter’s.

‘You’re one to talk’ Peter shot back with a laugh. ‘I saw what you and Dag were doing on the dance floor’

‘Ah, but you are not on the dance floor; there are different rules on the dance floor’ Meg said, pointing at him with her drink. She emptied her glass and left them.

‘She has a point’ Balthazar said with a cheeky glint in his eyes before kissing Peter again. This kiss, though, was deeper and more passionate than the others.

When he pulled away, Balthazar put his lips to Peter’s ear. It tickled while simultaneously sending an electric thrill down his spine. 

‘Wanna go up to my room?’ he breathed into Peter’s ear, pressing their bodies together. Yet again that night, Peter found himself surprised; he had not expected that to be on the table. 

Balthazar pulled away slightly and looked into Peter’s eyes. The air between them was suddenly heavy, and Peter felt the corner of his mouth curling into a smile as he bit his lip and gave a single nod. 

They downed their drinks before Balthazar took Peter’s hand and pulled him toward the elevator in the corridor. 

It felt so surreal; Peter had done this so many times. For the most part of the last year, he’d found someone in a bar, they’d flirt, and at some point they’d go to either of their places. He’d never felt like this about someone he’d picked up in a bar, though. The actions were the same ones he’d repeated so many times before, but this time he knew the guy’s name, and he actually really liked him. This was going to be so good and so bad for various reasons. 

When they got into the elevator and the doors closed, however, Peter completely forgot all the reasons why this was a very, very bad idea. Because as soon as they were alone in that very small space, Balthazar pulled Peter unbelievably close and kissed him hard on the mouth. There was an urgency to the kiss that hadn’t been there before – or at least, not until tonight – and Peter gave back as good as he got, trailing kisses down Balthazar’s jaw and neck, sucking just above where his cardigan rested on his neck. Balthazar gasped and curled his fingers around Peter’s sweater sleeves. 

The elevator doors opened, and Balthazar pulled Peter down the hall. They stopped a couple of times to kiss, to touch. When they got to the door to Balthazar’s hotel room, Peter pressed him against it, revelling in the feeling of their bodies aligned, feeling Balthazar against his thigh. 

‘Key card’ Balthazar gasped as Peter was sucking a mark just underneath his jaw. He swallowed hard. ‘Pocket’

Peter didn’t stop kissing him while he frantically felt through Balthazar’s jean pocket, not able to find anything but his phone. 

Balthazar let out a breathy laugh. ‘Other pocket’

Peter pulled back, and Balthazar took it upon himself to trail wet kisses down Peter’s neck as Peter felt through the other pocket, making sure to put his entire hand down it. It wasn’t strictly necessary, but judging from the way Balthazar groaned, it was a good move. Peter’s heart was beating hard and fast against his rib cage, and he doubted having ever been so turned on in his life as when Balthazar nibbled on his earlobe. 

Finally finding the key card, Peter went back to kissing Balthazar on the mouth, Balthazar’s arms around his neck. When the door clicked open, they stumbled inside, Balthazar tugging Peter’s sweater upward before he’d even kicked the door shut. 

-

Still unbelievably tired, his body heavy, Peter woke up to a dark hotel room. Turning his head to the digital clock on the bedside table, the time read 7:43. He tried going back to sleep, but for some reason, his eyes refused to stay shut. He sighed and turned his head to look at the beautiful boy lying by his side. The sight made his chest feel tight.

Balthazar was still asleep, lying on his front, hugging his pillow. The covers only covered him from his hips down, and his hair was all over the place. He looked so peaceful, so happy, a tiny smile on his face. He was probably dreaming something beautiful. 

It was a stark contrast to how crap Peter was feeling. His heart actually felt heavy, and he could feel the sobs being stuck somewhere in his chest. They’d no doubt work their way up throughout the day. The sight of Balthazar lying there, still close enough to touch, was almost painful.

They’d gone on for longer than Peter had expected, the night before, and it had been the best sex he’d had in his entire life. He could still hear Balthazar’s laughter, and the sound of him moaning Peter’s name was stuck in his brain, probably never to be forgotten. By the time Peter had been falling asleep, the music downstairs was no longer audible. 

If he could just go back to before he’d fallen asleep and freeze time, he’d stay in that vacuum – with this amazing human being that was Balthazar Jones – forever. But now it was the morning of the day he was leaving, and he felt a little sick at the thought of having to have that conversation with Balthazar when he woke up. 

He didn’t know how to _not_ make it uncomfortable to talk about. Neither of them had mentioned the fact that Peter would be leaving at any time they’d hung out, they hadn’t talked about what this thing between them was, and that had been fine – until now that it was actually happening and they couldn't ignore it anymore. Peter definitely wouldn’t be able to have a long distance relationship from halfway across the world. Why did Balthazar have to live in fucking _Norway_? He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to afford to come back, and it just wouldn’t be enough to _maybe_ see each other when Balthazar went home for Christmas. If he even did that. As much as he wished he didn’t, Peter needed more from a relationship than Skype conversations and texts.

So they’d have to break it off today. Fuck, even thinking it made his heart ache. They’d have to agree that this had been a fling – a really fucking amazing fling, but a fling nonetheless – and never see each other again. He was going to have to compartmentalise so much of this trip. 

The sun was rising – he could see it through the sliver where the curtains didn’t quite meet – when he heard something on the floor buzz. It was at his side of the bed, so he carefully got out of it, pulled on his underwear, and rummaged through his jean pocket, pulling out his phone. He pulled on his jeans as well and sat down, carefully so as to not wake Balthazar, on the bed, checking the message that had been the source of the buzzing. 

Mum:  
_When do you land in Auckland? Dad and I will come pick you up._

Fuck, he couldn’t even think about practicalities right now. He’d ask Bea when he got back to the cabin. If they even could get back to the cabin. Had the snow even stopped last night? Would they be able to get to the airport in time? A big part of him wished they wouldn’t.

As if she was a mind reader, a text came in from Bea at that very second. 

Bea:  
_We’ll have to leave early to be sure to get to the airport in time. Need you to come to the cabin ASAP. Say goodbye to Balthazar from us._

Peter scrubbed his hands over his face. He really didn’t want to wake Balthazar up to that conversation. He’d thought they could get breakfast together, nurse their hangovers, before having that awful conversation. The thought of just jumping right into it made him nauseous. 

He caught sight of a block of paper and a pencil on the bedside table, and before he knew what he was doing, he was pulling on his T-shirt and boots, and scribbling a message on it before sneaking out the door, leaving Balthazar behind.

Meg was waiting in the lobby with his outerwear draped over her arm. He put it on, and in silence they walked to the cabin. He didn’t tell his friends what he’d done and tried not to think of it himself. It was a dick move and he knew it. He didn’t need the others to tell him how awful he had just proven that he actually was. He just quietly helped with the cleaning, and packed up his things. 

Bea hadn’t been kidding when she’d said they’d have to leave early. Their flight left late that evening, but their taxi was there to pick them up early in the afternoon. Bea argued that it would give them time to get stuck if they had to, and frankly, after the stunt that Peter had pulled on Balthazar, he was more than happy to leave as soon as possible. He didn’t want to risk running into him.

It wasn’t until they passed the diner he and Balthazar had eaten at, only days before, that Peter remembered that, shit. He’d forgotten his sweater. 

-

Balthazar woke up with a dry mouth and bad headache. He reached his arm out without opening his eyes, but couldn’t find what he was looking for. 

‘Pete?’ he mumbled before he opened his eyes and sat up in the bed. It took a moment for the room to stand still before him. Then he looked around, frowning. Peter was nowhere in sight, but his sweater was on the floor where Balthazar had thrown it the night before so surely he couldn’t have gone far. 

He got out of bed, pulling on his underwear, and checked if he might be in the bathroom. He wasn’t, and when Balthazar came back into the room, he noticed that the sweater was the only article of Peter’s clothing that was actually there. 

His stomach dropped when he saw the note on the pillow Peter had used. With shaky hands, he picked it up and stared at it. 

_Balthazar,_  
_Thanks for last night, it was amazing. And thanks for the past few days. I’ll never forget it._  
_\- Peter_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second part of the series will be rolling out when I've handed in my next assignment for uni.
> 
> I'm sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to request or ask anything, I'm optimisticfairyprincess on tumblr! Feel free to find and interact with me!


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